He’s being evasive about going to visit my parents

I asked him whether we could go to my parents’ home and he told me he would give me  an answer in a short while. But until now he hasn’t. In fact, that entire week he did not call, so I called him and asked him what he was planning but all  he could say was that he had forgotten what we had talked about. PHOTO | FILE

What you need to know:

  • I checked his phone one day and found a number saved as “Princess”.  When I asked him about it, he told me  it belonged to his baby mama from long ago, but that there was nothing more between them. He insisted that we were meant to be and I stayed.
  • This year, after one-and-a-half years together, I asked him whether we could go to my parents’ home and he told me he would give me  an answer in a short while. But until now he hasn’t.
  • In fact, that entire week he did not call, so I called him and asked him what he was planning but all  he could say was that he had forgotten what we had talked about.

Hi Kitoto. 

I desperately need your help. I have been reading your articles and for sure you are a great man.

My problem began in September 2015, when I met a man with whom I fell deeply in love. He told me he was not married and I gave myself to him intimately barely a month after we met. As time went by, he started acting weird, stopped calling me and his visits became rare. I checked his phone one day and found a number saved as “Princess”.  When I asked him about it, he told me  it belonged to his baby mama from long ago, but that there was nothing more between them. He insisted that we were meant to be and I stayed.

Then, this year, after one-and-a-half years together, I asked him whether we could go to my parents’ home and he told me he would give me  an answer in a short while. But until now he hasn’t. In fact, that entire week he did not call, so I called him and asked him what he was planning but all  he could say was that he had forgotten what we had talked about.

I am extremely depressed and feel as if my world is falling apart. I truly love him but I just don’t know what to do. I’m 30 years old and feel  time is not on my side.

Please help before I break down.

 

Hi,

Thank you for your kind compliments. We strive to do our best to create a forum where we can share and exchange ideas on relationships. No one could have put it better than Martin Luther who said: “There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.”

We live in a fallen world, with many vested interests. Going past these to create a robust, loving and caring union is not easy. Relationships require commitment, mutual effort and intentionality to make things work and move forward towards mutual satisfaction.

Those who start well will most likely build on that foundation to create a relationship built on sound values that enhance intimacy. What I can see from the onset is that your man wants to give you limited information, as the need arises. What I know is that communication is the lifeline of a great relationship. Failure to disclose fully opens the door to suspicion, mistrust, and manipulation.

As much as age is not on your side, do not look too desperate. Do not let this man use your vulnerability to take advantage of you. You are at an age when you can tell the truth from a lie. I believe that, if you keep your sixth sense alive, you will do just fine.

Your current depression and  fear that he might be deceiving you should be the signal you need to step back and take stock. After you do this, ask yourself whether this man has everything you want in a man. You are at a stage where you need answers from him and not silent treatment.