We can’t just resolve issues

Hello Mr Kitoto,

After four years, things got bad in our relationship because over the years, we never resolved any issue completely.

This led to a break-up. As we were trying to resolve the pending issues, he said we should get married for our issues to be resolved. He has not given me space to think or consult. He has become erratic and is ignoring me.

What am I supposed to make of this? Is he serious or  just playing games with me?

 Please give me your honest opinion.

Hi,

Many relationships end up in trouble today because those involved do not realise that communication is the lifeline of any relationship. Without communication, a relationship feels restricted, chokes and dies. It appears that  this is what happened to your relationship, leading to the first break-up. It is surprising that you allowed things to fester for such a long time.

Even after you made up,  it is not clear from your narration whether you covered all the issues.

Many people have a tendency of not loving the relationship to the extent that they will do everything in their power to embrace honesty, which is essential for building trust and unity. 

The chronology of events that follow the discussion  leave one concerned about the way the two of you are approaching  marriage. I really do not see why he should demand marriage and later throw temper tantrums just because things are not going his way. If it was real love driving him to want  to marry you, then one would expect some level of maturity.

The question is whether this man has the qualities that would make for a good, mature and trustworthy husband. I am concerned about the brash manner in which he deals with issues. This will frustrate any woman  looking for a level of stability and mature engagement on issues. I suggest  that you convince yourself  that this relationship is worth pursuing. If not, move on. Don’t wait to sustain a wound that will take long to heal.