In Summary

  • First, it doesn’t matter what I think. You and your girlfriend must come to an arrangement that suits both of you.
  • Second, it would be a shame for a compatible twosome, neither of whom needs the dough-re-mi, to let the price of a few movie tickets and dinners out spoil things.

Q: I have been a widower for a few years and now have a girlfriend.

We are both seniors and financially secure. We have spent several days and nights together, every week, for over a year.

But I have been paying nearly all our dating expenses. Her feeling is, on dates, the guy pays for everything. But I think we are more than dating, and she should bear some cost, too.

Any pearls of wisdom?

 

Let’s make it a triple strand with a sparkly diamond clasp. First, it doesn’t matter what I think. You and your girlfriend must come to an arrangement that suits both of you. Second, it would be a shame for a compatible twosome, neither of whom needs the dough-re-mi, to let the price of a few movie tickets and dinners out spoil things. (Let’s also confirm that you are giving her “credit” for meals she cooks for you. In fact, make that double credit.) 

Finally, let her know you consider her an equal partner, not a prom date. If you express your desire for equality and fairness sincerely, she may open up her handbag and toss out her musty old gender stereotypes.

But if she doesn’t (and you can’t get over it), she may not be the girl for you.