Should Fiolina teach at Maina’s?

Later on when I went home and told Filina that I was reconsidering her teaching at Sharp shooter Academy, she hit the roof. ILLUSTRATION | JOHN NYAGAH

What you need to know:

  • I passed by Hitler’s. Everyone was happy to see me, and I was received as if I was running for office – and my nomination was the next day. For those who are wondering why, the time I was seen boarding Msamaria Mwema that morning, word spread around that I had gone for my salary.
  • A director must stay in a good place, I reasoned. But after visiting a few homes, that had four bedroomed houses, a compound and dedicated gates, I did not need a calculator to know that God never intended that teachers stay in such places.
  • While I insisted that we should wait till the end of May and see how and if she will be paid before deciding on whether to have her settle near there, Fiolina insisted that she should move to near Sharp Shooter Academy immediately.

As you already know, Mrs Fiolina Dre, my wife and laugh of my enviable life got a job at Mr  Maina’s Sharp Shooters Academy a few weeks ago. People usually get such lucrative jobs after three or four rounds of interviews but my lovely wife’s brightness, wisdom and indescribable beauty shone through in the first interview. Indeed, news reaching me say that on that day, there were other candidates who had turned up for the interview but Mr Maina had to end the session after talking to Fiolina.

“You have such a sharp wife,” said Maina, when he called me that day. “She is too bright for you.” He added. I did not like that statement but if he were a reasonable man then he would have known that if I have a very bright wife, then I must be far much brighter than her.

The journey to have Fiolina report to Sharp Shooter Academy started in earnest last weekend. As you know, Sharp Shooter is far away from Mwisho wa Lami and there was no way Fiolina could commute from here to the place every day.

“I can organise for a motorcycle to be taking you there every morning and bring you back every evening,” I at first suggested. But when my adorable wife showed me the math, I realised that would not make economic sense.

“Plus this is the rainy season and we may not make it to school on time,” added my bright wife. She was right. I asked her what we should do.

“We will have to rent a house there and I will be going there every Monday or Sunday and coming back every Friday or Saturday,” she said. “It will not only save us time and money but it will make me more productive and I will be made a deputy director sooner than expected.”

The thought of my smart wife being a director sent spasms of happiness in my body. It was such a good thing that would bring more money to my family. I would do anything to ensure that she becomes a director.

HOUSE-HUNTING

Last Wednesday therefore, as other men of my age were busy in politics and nominations, things that would not add a sufuria of ugali on their tables, I went to town on an important economic activity of looking for a house for my wife. I was naïve, and started off in the big estates of the town, also called Milimani.

A director must stay in a good place, I reasoned. But after visiting a few homes, that had four bedroomed houses, a compound and dedicated gates, I did not need a calculator to know that God never intended that teachers stay in such places. The rent of those places was more than my yearly salary!

I went to another estate that was lower than Milimani but clearly too, that was not meant for us. The fact that the estate caretaker was showing us our parking slot clearly meant that this was not our place. But I can’t blame him. The way I was dressed, no one would have imagined that I did not own a top of the range car, like my brother’s Mercedes-Platz.

“The master bedroom is en suite,” said the care taker. I did not know what en suite was and asked to be shown. It was such a perfect work and as I went to the house, I was happy to note that the bedroom that Fiolina and I would use – later on when she becomes a director and I am promoted to headmaster - had its own toilet and bathroom.

I went to the next level of housing. These were two bedroomed houses. The price was reasonable for county staff but high for teachers. If we went there we would spend a good amount of our salary on rent. It was late afternoon, and I boarded Msamaria Mwema back home, promising myself to go back the next day to get an appropriate house.

I passed by Hitler’s. Everyone was happy to see me, and I was received as if I was running for office – and my nomination was the next day. For those who are wondering why, the time I was seen boarding Msamaria Mwema that morning, word spread around that I had gone for my salary. So when I returned, everyone assumed that I was loaded. I avoided everyone and went to the corner where Saphire and Kizito – the teacher. I told them of the job my splendid wife had got and my plans.

“Dre kwani hujui Maina?” asked Saphire. “You believed him that he will make your wife director and pay her a lot of money?” It was true Maina was fired for financial impropriety but that did not make him a bad man. Saphire did not believe that Fiolina would be paid some good money.

“Even if she is paid well, do you want to let your wife stay far away from here?” asked Kizito. “In that town that has so many mafisi, whose chairman is Mr Maina? You don’t remember his stories with female teachers here?”

“I know that guy,” I said. “But my wife is different,” they laughed loudly.

“All women are the same,” said Saphire. Here was a man without a wife talking about women.  I did not need a calculator to know that the two were just jealous. They both wished they were the ones given jobs at Sharp Shooter Academy.

“The only way you can trust Fiolina with other men in the big town is if you make her start vomiting,” said Saphire. We ignore him, he had never made any woman lose sleep, let alone vomit!

SKILLED NEGOTIATOR

“Don’t listen to the big titles of director in academies,” said Kizito. “Those titles are useless.” He reminded me that Tito, the owner of Busy Bee Academy calls himself managing director and his wife who never stepped in secondary school is the director of operations.

“I know but Sharp Shooter is bigger than Busy Bee,” I told Kizito. “A director there is not a small person.”

“Have you been there?” He asked me. That is when it hit me that I had not been to the school. But from the way Maina had been dressed that day I met him, and how my adorable Fiolina had described his office, it was clear Sharp Shooter was a big school.

Later on when I went home and told Filina that I was reconsidering her teaching at Sharp shooter Academy, she hit the roof.

“Are you the one who did the interview?” she asked. I had no answer. I asked her how much salary she had ben promised.

“Have you ever told me your salary?” she asked me. “Why should I tell you mine?” She would later say that the salary would be based on her work.

My Fiolina was so mad, but using my internationally renowned negotiations skills, I calmed her down. While I insisted that we should wait till the end of May and see how and if she will be paid before deciding on whether to have her settle near there, Fiolina insisted that she should move to near Sharp Shooter Academy immediately.

“If you can’t get me a house let me know,” she added. “Mr Maina said he has some houses and can give me one.” This worried me and I, as the husband, overruled her. “I have to go to Sharp Shooter Academy myself and see for myself before I allow you to take up the position,” I said, bringing the discussion to an end.

I will be going there today. But I must admit have my fears. I don’t trust Mr Maina. Should I allow my wife to take up the position at Sharp Shooter Academy?