Valentine’s revives our romance

Mwisho wa Lami may be a place of many “real men” but we have such a huge deficit of gentlemen.

In fact I think I am the only gentleman worth talking about in this part of the universe. By real men, I mean men who are tough in life and have no time for softness. Men like Nyayo, Saphire, Alfayo, Rasto, name them. These are mean men, who like our fore-fathers are brave and have no time for sentimentals. They are impatient with my gentle mien, and not once have they called me a woman. Indeed the only thing they find manly about me is my patronising Hitler’s.

One of the reasons I am at times called a woman is my treatment of my wife, and women generally. Many of you may be aware that I am the only man who occasionally helps the laugh of my life in the kitchen, and I don’t mind washing utensils after we have taken a meal. This may be happening once a year but at least it does happen.

Then there is Valentine’s. I am the only man this side of the Sahara who knows about Valentine’s Day. Or rather who observes it. I say so because despite introducing my fellow men to this day a few years ago, none of them does anything on this day, let alone recognise it.

“Is it a public holiday? Shall we come to school,” asked Saphire when I asked him on Monday what he would do on Valentine’s.

“How do we do anything if it is not a holiday?” asked Kuya, when I told them that it was not a holiday.

Admittedly, I have not celebrated this day with the laugh of my life for some years.

ROMANTIC WALK

This was the perfect year to celebrate. As you are aware, the coming of Catherine to head Mwisho wa Lami Primary School totally complicated my domestic matters! And although I do not spend much time in HM’s office compared to how I used to in Bensouda’s time, Fiolina considers the posting of Catherina to our school an affront to her marriage.

Despite our starting on a rough patch with Catherina, things have cooled in the last few weeks. Just like Bensouda before her, on Catherine’s request, I found her a good house in Mwisho wa Lami’s Milimani estate and last Saturday, I helped her move to the new house and did not leave until I had helped arrange everything and ensured that she was comfortable. It was very late when I left, way past 10 pm, Saturday evening.

I arrived home to find an angry Fiolina, whose intelligence had told her where I had been. She did not talk to me that day, nor did she talk to me on Sunday. It was not easy for me and come Monday evening I decided that Tuesday, Valentine’s Day, would be my day to make amends.

I woke up Tuesday morning and went to the kitchen. I prepared porridge, warmed some potato left overs from the previous day and served her in the bedroom. I had read somewhere that serving your wife breakfast in bed is the ultimate romance. And it worked. Now, even though she had not been talking to me, she smiled as she took breakfast, and thanked me.

As soon as I arrived at school, I dispatched an SMS to her. “Happy Valentine Fiolina, the laugh of my life. May we keep laughing for the rest of our lives. From Dre, with Love. Xo xo xo.”

She responded quite positively and we texted each other several times. I asked her if I could take her out that day and she agreed. I called Nyayo and borrowed his motorcycle and went to pick her from home at noon. It was Valentine’s Day and I was not going to let my wife walk, nor would I let another man carry her. I carried her to Kasuku Hotel where I had made reservations.

Since the food was not ready, I ordered a Fanta for her and a Stoney Madiaba for myself, which we sipped as we waited for food and talked about our great future.  I was on my second Madiaba when the food come – straight from the kitchen. There was ugali matumbo for Fiolina and Ugali Mlima for myself. What a romantic meal that was! For those asking what Mlima is, only a visit at Kasuku  Bar and Rest would help. Some things can’t be described.

We leisurely took the lunch, like the two love-birds we are, looking at each other in the eyes... I could see nothing but pure happiness in Fiolina’s eyes. After lunch, I asked for another Stoney Madiaba, and a Fanta for Fiolina. Although the Fanta came, she did not take it. I took it once I was done with my Stoney. Nyayo had picked the motorcycle as soon as we had arrived.

It was about 4 pm when we were done with the lunch and we decided to take a walk – a romantic walk. I led Fiolina to the field behind Kasuku Hotel. And stood at the Mango Tree. I asked Fiolina to close her eyes. I dipped my hand into one of my Kaunda suit pockets and gave her something in a polythene bag. I asked her to open her eyes.

She opened her eyes and looked into the polythene bag. “Wow, Leso!” she exclaimed as she saw what it was I had bought her. She was quite happy to see the red leso. “Very colourful, very good, thank you very much,” she said as she hugged me.

MESSAGE ON A LESSO

She spread the leso on the grass so that we could sit. I had bought the two lesos two weeks earlier when I went for my salary. I had given one to Catherine on the Saturday when I helped her move into her new house.

I had been keen with a red one for Fiolina and had not looked at anything else. I had not read the Swahili saying on the leso and on reading the saying Fiolina started crying – tears of joy. It read: Mapenzi ni kikohozi, hayawezi kufichika.

We sat on the leso. I had talked to one of the waiters who brought us a Fanta for Fiolina and another Stoney Madiaba for me. As we sipped the soda slowly, Fiolina emphasised the words on the leso.

“I know Catherina will confuse you a lot but mapenzi ni kikohozi, utarudi tu kwangu,” she said, smiling. I did not respond. My phone kept vibrating and when I checked, it was Catherine asking me about Valentine’s plans. I responded back with an SMS saying that I was in a meeting and would call back later

It was about 7 pm when we left Kasuku Hotel, walking slowly and romantically, holding hands. At home there was another surprise for her. I had also bought her the very fashionable Ngoma shoes. She was over the moon.

For obvious reasons, we woke up late the next day, very late. I just have this feeling that there will be some good news soon. Very soon. Watch this space…