My dark past keeps haunting me

Q: I am in my 40s and a single parent of two teenage girls. We moved back into the country a few years ago. I keep getting haunted by my dark past that is known by many. As a result, I have faced stigma and rejection and most times I am alone. I have tried to move on but these thoughts keep coming up. My girls are growing and my fear is how it will affect them if they get to know about my past. They have started asking me to look for someone to take care of me as they see how I am struggling. How do I get past these regrets as the past cannot be changed? How do I deal with my girls? Sometimes I feel like getting a one-way ticket and just leaving so that I can avoid all this stigma and rejection.  All I seek is peace of mind. Please help

Expert advice

Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:

The only way you will be able to have peace of mind and if you train yourself to concentrate on moving on from your past. Do not worry or speculate too much on what people think about you. The society does not take care of you and your daughters. It’s time for you to stop feeling guilty about your past. If you can do that then your priority will be your family and building a future. I advise that you also only associate with people in your social circle who add value to your life and let go of the rest. You cannot change your past but you can create a brighter future for you and your girls.

Next week’s dilemma: Hi. My girlfriend of two years and I keep fighting. The last time we had a fight I really blew up and almost became violent. I didn’t hit her – I controlled myself just in time – but now she says she’s afraid of me and she wants to break up with me. I love her too much for that to happen. She used to forgive me in the past but this time she has refused, even though I have bought her flowers and chocolates to show how sorry I am. What can I do to make her see that I love her and I never want to hurt her?