PLAIN TRUTH: Money makes the world go round

The lies we tell others may affect the quality of our relationships with those around us, but it is the lies we tell ourselves which have the most impact on the most significant person in our lives: us. “It isn’t about the money,” we tell ourselves and others over and over. It is what you say when you are dissatisfied in your job, when you like the work but feel the disconnect between what you are putting in and what you get in return but do not want to seem ungrateful. It is what you say when you are not quite sure that your new catch is on the same financial level as you.

I get it, money is not a sexy subject. No woman wants to obsessively talk about it lest she gets a certain unflattering tag over her head. A lot of women who tell themselves and others this lie believe it or want to believe it because they imagine that this is the ‘correct’ way to be.

IT IS ABOUT THE MONEY

I was chatting with a psychologist friend the other day and she listed some of the basic human needs as security, freedom, significance, relaxation and the need to love and be loved. She didn’t list money but I do not think that one can truly feel secure, have freedom or be able to relax while their pockets are empty.

To be honest, it also takes more than words and warmth in the heart to show love in Kenya today. We will say that money doesn’t make the man but don’t you want a man who gives you a sense of            security even if you are financially independent?

Why are we shying away from talking about money and love in the same sentence when finances are at the very top of the list of things that couples fight about today? They will tell you that true fulfilment is doing what you want with your life but can this be separated from money? Isn’t everyone’s dream job one that they are both passionate about and one that also adequately helps take care of their loved ones?

I think we are being dishonest with ourselves. I don’t think that passion, fulfilment and financial freedom can be separated. We only start believing that money means little when what we have is sufficient. The plain truth is that life really is about money. If it wasn’t, then we wouldn’t spend half our lives studying and working to get it, would we?

While it would be nice if the reality were different, the truth is that money is both a valuable and a necessary life tool today and we should start treating it as such. I think that every woman should, at the very least, seek basic financial knowledge. Let’s start telling our sons the truth – money may not make the man but life will be more comfortable if you have options. And the size of your wallet will, to a degree, define your worth as a man.