Stunning décor does not save bad food

Nairobi’s Two Rivers Mall only opened its doors to the public a couple of months ago but because Kenyan consumer culturists’ default draw is towards anything new that promises superfluity, the place has become legend among city residents who flock there in droves. In avoiding to ‘go with the flow’, I stayed away from the development for as long as possible until a shisha maniac friend of mine told me about a new bar and lounge which had opened there, and was convinced I would absolutely love.

Btzek Bar & Lounge is in a corner on the first floor of the main building, facing the riverfront and dancing fountain with vistas of trees spreading out into the space behind them. The establishment is massive and well-staffed with a tough looking bouncer at the entrance who managed to crack a smile when I approached. The hostess was literally bouncing off the walls as she welcomed me warmly before giving me a tour of the vastness beyond. For folks who enjoy indoor dining spaces, Btzek has the most amazing ambiance of any place I have been to in a long time. As a lover of minimalist décor, industrial interior designs are among my favourite for shopping stores and restaurants, but Nairobi has just never embraced the trend. Well, until now.

MAZE OF A CEILING

The ceiling is only just a maze of suspended wood beams through which exposed pipes and ducts can be seen. Earthy browns and creams are continued throughout the space with wood panelling and simple, practical furniture spread across the floor where some private booths are lined in intervals. The hanging light fixtures are simple, feature warm Edison bulbs and are enhanced with metal. At one end, there’s the body of a refurbished Volkswagen Beetle built into a wall surrounded by 3D imagery so it looks like it is in motion, breaking through into the restaurant.

Things started to get a little bizarre as we crossed the threshold to the outdoor area which though I was told has a Caribbean theme, had nothing to show for it except a dhow bar and ghastly mural of evil looking fish which seemed not to have been completed. The terrace though well lit, was freezing and something about the entire set up seemed to me like an afterthought. As the smoking zone, it is one part sports bar and one part hookah bar but is furnished with what look like garden chairs. That said, it is here that I chose to sit after I was told a heater could be made available for me.

The food options at Btzek are few and uninspired but the beverage menu is expansive. Considering how new the place is, I was happy to give them a pass so I ordered a crab thermidor and waited. And waited. And waited. My food arrived ages later and I was disappointed that at Sh1,400 all I got was measly coleslaw without a dressing, three small crab leg shells with hardly any meat in them and little more flavour than black pepper and melted cheese. This frustration was compounded that I then had to pay extra for the chips which were nicely seasoned. That’s really about all that impressed me about the food. Oh, that, and my beer!

I will wait a few months before returning to Btzek so they can figure out their teething problems and learn from reviews and customer experiences but it is definitely worth giving a shot. Especially for after work drinks with friends!