SEXUAL HEALTH: The breath that spells doom

Oral hygiene plays a crucial role in how intimate – or not – a couple is. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • After marriage it became more difficult for Winnie to get Fred to reduce the mouth odour.
  • When the children arrived, she focused on them. The result was a worsening of Fred’s bad breath.
  • “It smells like rotten egg, sometimes like potent sewage, and sometimes like a decomposing dog,” Winnie explained. “I have reached my limit.”

Winnie and Fred were in the verge of separating after seven years of marriage. Winnie had made up her mind to leave but came to the sexology clinic before making her big move. “You know how hard it is to arrive at these decisions,” she explained. “I am not sure what will happen to my children. I wonder how my parents will react. It is difficult.”

Winnie had three children; the youngest was two years old. She was a high school teacher. Fred was a businessman running a fleet of lorries that transported agricultural goods from rural areas to the city. Their marriage was facing serious difficulties and they had not been intimate for eight months.

“Well, you are in a sexless marriage,” I explained. “When you have sex less than 15 times in a year the marriage is defined as sexless.” There was silence. Winnie looked down, her eyes fixed to her feet. Then she lifted her head and looked at me. There were tears welling up in her eyes.

“I do not want a divorce. I wish there was a better option. Please help me.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. Winnie’s problem was that Fred had bad breath. She could no longer talk to him in close proximity. She could not kiss him. When in bed she requested him to face away from her. While dating, Winnie always gave him mint to chew. She advised him to brush after meals. She would buy him the most potent toothpastes. “I avoided telling him directly about the bad breath because I knew it would kill his ego. I hoped that my actions would make him realise his problem,” Winnie explained.

After marriage it became more difficult for Winnie to get Fred to reduce the mouth odour. When the children arrived, she focused on them. The result was a worsening of Fred’s bad breath. “It smells like rotten egg, sometimes like potent sewage, and sometimes like a decomposing dog,” Winnie explained. “I have reached my limit.”

CONTINUED TO DEMAND SEX

Fred continued to demand sex, and was beginning to turn violent whenever Winnie pushed him away. It was for this reason that Winnie thought it was safer to separate. She told him that she wanted a divorce. His reply was that they were as good as divorced already and she could proceed with her plans. That reply was a wake-up call to Winnie. It made her realise how much they had drifted apart. She had to take immediate action.

Bad breath, also called halitosis, is a common problem and an intimacy breaker. It is also called halitosis. Telling your partner that his or her breath is bad can land you in trouble. It can make them lose self-confidence. Yet keeping quiet about it does not help and does not augur well for the sustainability of a marriage. “What causes it? Can it not be cured?” Winnie interrupted my explanation.

Halitosis happens when certain types of bacteria have colonised the back of the tongue. They may also spread to the gums. The bacteria break down proteins, releasing bad-smelling chemicals. Treatment involves eliminating the bacteria and maintaining good oral hygiene to prevent recurrence.

Foods such as garlic, onions, coffee and some types of fish leave the mouth with an unpleasant smell for many hours. They can worsen halitosis. The situation is made worse by smoking and alcohol. A number of other diseases affecting the teeth, gums, nose, sinuses, lungs and the digestive system can bring about halitosis. In rare cases, halitosis can be the result of diseases of the liver, kidneys and diabetes, among others.

It is very important that the affected person undergoes a full medical examination to identify the cause and have targeted treatment of the problem. I advised Winnie to bring her husband to the clinic the next day.

Fred, a well-built giant of a man, was in the clinic the next day. He did not seem surprised when I informed him that his marriage was in the rocks due to halitosis. He was ready to do what it took to create peace at home. After a full medical examination, the cause of his halitosis was found to be bacteria in the tongue and gums. Treatment yielded good results.

The couple then underwent sex and intimacy coaching for another eight weeks. In total the treatment took three months. The diligence of the couple in following medical instructions was amazing. As happens with treatment of other sex and intimacy problems, this was another testimony that patience and consistency do pay in resolving long standing matters of love and intimacy.