In Summary
  • Rita’s husband initially appeared sympathetic.
  • Then he became impatient, making demands for sex.
  • When he realised that his demands would not be honoured, he started accusing Rita of having affairs.
  • Things progressed from bad to worse, culminating in this week of heightened activities.

The natural response to painful sex is to avoid it – and this is totally understandable. But one must then seek medical to find a lasting solution, and to enable the resumption of conjugal activities. If not, the relationship may fall apart.

“I do not support your position,” Rita interjected as I explained how to deal with painful sex.

It had been a week of tribulations for her. On Monday of that week, her husband had stopped talking to her; on Tuesday he locked her out of the house until midnight. He said there was no value in sharing the bedroom with her. On Wednesday he came home and declared that he would file for divorce. She woke up on Thursday and instead of going to work, walked into the sexology clinic at 8am with the aim of saving her marriage.

Rita was 34 years old and a mother of two. She had been married three years. Life had been good for her and her husband until she developed a rather nagging pain during sex. The pain was initially bearable but worsened with time. She thought things would normalise if she stopped having sex, upon which she could resume. Six months down the line, she had not resumed sex.

Rita’s husband initially appeared sympathetic. Then he became impatient, making demands for sex. When he realised that his demands would not be honoured, he started accusing Rita of having affairs. Things progressed from bad to worse, culminating in this week of heightened activities.

“I am not saying that he is doing the right thing,” I explained my position to Rita. “I just feel that you took too long to seek care and this has resulted in additional problems which could have been avoided.”

Rita wiped tears from her bloodshot eyes. She stared into the distance, her unkempt hair, dry lips and poorly ironed clothes telling the story of a woman in deep distress. It dawned on me that she could be sliding into depression.

“But what evil is this that has entered my life? Why should I be in so much pain? What wrong have I done?” she blurted out, weeping even more.

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