JUST BRENDA: Will I shortchange myself if I move in with him?
I am in a dilemma. My boyfriend wants me to move in with him after a year of dating. I feel that if I do, this will make me do wife duties which am not ready to do. PHOTO| FILE
What you need to know:
- Do not assume that he is asking you to move in with him because he wants to marry you.
- He could be just looking for the convenience of living with a woman.
Dear Brenda,
Thank you for the good work you are doing.
I am in a dilemma. My boyfriend wants me to move in with him after a year of dating. I feel that if I do, I will start doing wife duties that I'm not ready to do. I also feel if I move in, he will not be keen on making our relationship official.
What do you think I should do?
Girl in a dilemma
First of all, marriage and cohabitation are not interchangeable. Do not assume that he is asking you to move in with him because he wants to marry you. He could be just looking for the convenience of living with a woman.
What you can do about your predicament is talk about it. Ask him why he wants you to move in and what direction your relationship will take thereafter. If the two of you are not on the same page, do not move in with him.
You are right. You should not play wife to a man that has not married you. On the flip side, you should not expect wife privileges from your boyfriend. This means that just as you shouldn’t be feeding him or cleaning up after him, he shouldn’t be paying your bills or fixing things around your house if he hasn’t put a ring on it.
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