JUST BRENDA: Should I confess to her that I'm not a teetotaller?

I lied to the girl I’m dating that I don’t drink beer (It came up in conversation that she hated beer breath and men who take alcohol in general) because I wanted her to like me. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • There is no lying out of this one, dear.
  • If you like her (and it seems like you really do) and want to stand a real chance with her, then you need to come clean.
  • She may either find your confession cute (in terms of the lengths you went to keep her) and forgive you or deceitful (in terms of betraying her trust) and kick you to the curb.
  • Either way, you only have yourself to blame so man up and do the right thing.
  • Do you have a problem for Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]

Hi Brenda,

I’m a first year student in university and you can also say that I’m a fresher in relationships as well. I need your help.

I lied to the girl I’m dating that I don’t drink beer (It came up in conversation that she hated beer breath and men who take alcohol in general) because I wanted her to like me.

Things progressed better than I thought and we have been dating officially for three months. I have had more cups of tea in the last three months that I have had in my lifetime! Now, I do take beer and I always have to come up with a lie to cover up why we can’t meet whenever I want to go out with my friends.

I know she suspects that something is wrong but I can’t bring myself to tell her the truth because it would also uncover the other lies I’ve been

telling and I’m afraid she might leave me. Please tell me what to do.

Do you know the story of the fictional character Pinocchio? He dreams of becoming a real boy and lies often. He has a short nose that grows bigger each time he lies.

In case you are wondering about the relevance of this story, you are Pinocchio. The only difference is that you want to become someone else, someone you think your girlfriend will like better, by lying.

And unlike Pinocchio's nose, it's the rift between you that will grow bigger by the day.

Now that I’m dishing out wisdom, I might as well add this saying: You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.

There is no lying out of this one, dear. If you like her (and it seems like you really do) and want to stand a real chance with her, then you need to come clean.

She may either find your confession cute (in terms of the lengths you went to keep her) and forgive you or deceitful (in terms of betraying her trust) and kick you to the curb.

Either way, you only have yourself to blame so man up and do the right thing.

The other option, which is also in a warped way taking responsibility, could be to abandon drinking alcohol entirely as a sacrifice to her.

Think about the thousands of shillings you will have saved in a year. You can keep this up until that day when she invites you for the family Christmas party where you will make a fool of yourself after binge-drinking.

Your choice.

Do you have a problem for Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]