Four exceptional lessons from the man I’m proud to call my dad
The writer, Kenn Kobia with his father Silas Kobia. Kenn's experience as a father for the past four years has given him the greatest appreciation of the example that his dad has modelled to him and his siblings. PHOTO| COURTESY
What you need to know:
- From my earliest memory, my dad has shown me what it means to be a Christian.
- I have learnt more of the Christian faith in how he has lived his life than in what he has spoken.
- I have learnt it’s not how well that you can quote scripture but how well you live it.
- His humility is for me is one of his greatest assets.
President. Lawyer. Corporate Executive. Pastor. Pilot. Football Superstar. These were some of the answers that I gave at different stages of my childhood to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. However, now that I am a grown man, my answer to that question is to be a faithful husband and devoted father. The way that I will fulfill those two roles will determine whether my life will be a success. And this is in no small measure to the one man in my life I am most proud to call my dad.
My experience as a father for the past four years has given me the greatest appreciation of the example that my dad has modelled to my siblings and me. No amount of professional success, fame or fortune comes close to the awesome responsibility of fatherhood. This especially comes into sharp focus when one considers the impact that fathers have had and continue to have in our society. There are many lessons that I have learnt from my father. But few stand out in my memory as modelling the Christian walk, the value of a good name, minimising regret and the importance of education.
MODELING THE CHRISTIAN WALK
As a Father, if I act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8), then I leave a lasting legacy for my children.
From my earliest memory, my dad has shown me what it means to be a Christian. I have learnt more of the Christian faith in how he has lived his life than in what he has spoken. I have learnt it’s not how well that you can quote scripture but how well you live it. His humility is for me is one of his greatest assets. That no matter how successful you are, God deserves the honour and glory.
THE VALUE OF A GOOD NAME
As a Father, live your life in such a way that your children can walk with their heads held high, when their name is mentioned.
If there is one thing that I know my dad holds in high regard, it is the value of a good name. From when we were young, my siblings and I knew there were two cardinal sins to commit in our home, one would be to bring the Kobia name into disrepute and the other I will share with the last lesson. We all learnt from an early age that your word is your bond. You do what you say and say what you do. That integrity and honour are key to a good name and well worth their weight in gold.
Silas Kobia and his wife Prof Margaret Kobia pose with their grandchildren. PHOTO| COURTESY
MINIMISING REGRET
As a Father, give your best in everything you do and your children will make you proud.
There is a saying in our house we knew growing up from a very early age, “minimise regret”. My dad has always told us to do all that we can, when we can, with all that we can. We have been continually challenged to never look back and say, “That was a missed opportunity”, “I wish I had tried harder” and “I should have done this”. We were raised to give our best with every opportunity that came our way and do it with excellence. I honestly do not know anyone as hard-working people in my life than my dad.
THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION
As a Father, give your children the best education you can afford, it will never be wasted.
I mentioned a second cardinal sin, this was is linked to last key lesson I will share, the importance of education. If you wanted to test the limits of my dad’s patience and calm demeanor, take education for granted. Both my parents, and especially my father, emphasised the importance of education in shaping our destinies and achieving our dreams. My dad never compromised on giving us the best he could from an education standpoint. Looking back, my passion for books and reading and what I have become are based on my dad’s mantra of continuous learning and striving for excellence in education. This should not be confused for striving to attain a mean grade of A, as one can possess intelligence without the wisdom to apply it, but the ability to utilise the knowledge that education provides to fulfill the gifts and talents bestowed on every individual.
This Father’s Day, I celebrate my dad Silas Kobia, and all the men out there raising the next generation and doing their very best to be positive and lifelong role models. May we be fathers who will not just sire children who have our DNA but also whose character will stand the test of time. If I can even be half the man that my father has been, it will have been a life well lived!
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Kenn Kobia is an Internal Controls Lead at a Fortune 50 company based in Illinois, USA.
BY KENN KOBIA AS NARRATED TO MILLICENT MWOLOLO
