In Summary
  • If you are one of the women who is not comfortable with that much bodily contact, which you clearly are seeing as you're writing this letter, then firmly tell him to stop.
  • Not laughingly, not rudely, just firmly.
  • Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: [email protected]

Hi Brenda,

My colleague has the habit of tapping my thigh to emphasise his points. This happens whenever I’m standing next to his desk. At first I thought he was doing it for attention but even when we make eye contact during conversation, he will keep tapping my thigh as he speaks animatedly. I’m not calling out sexual harassment because he seems to be doing it unselfconsciously but it bothers me . Of course I haven’t told him yet because I don’t want to offend him. He’s a nice guy save for the thigh-tapping.

Here's the thing. Some women are okay with close bodily contact from the opposite sex, and some are not. Some men are oblivious to how much they touch women. Many are not.

If you are one of the women who is not comfortable with that much bodily contact, which you clearly are seeing as you're writing this letter, then firmly tell him to stop. Not laughingly, not rudely, just firmly.

Why should you suppress the fact that you are uncomfortable for the sake of his comfort? Is his comfort that important to you, and if so, why?

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