In Summary
  • You are young and are bound to fall in and out of love many times before you finally settle down so enjoy the dating period in your life.
  • Don't beat yourself up but instead, enjoy the journey of getting to know yourself as you enter into manhood.

I’m 19. I’ve been in a relationship with a 45-year-old woman for a while. Recently, I began feeling like I needed to be with somebody my own age. I even started talking to this girl. I, however, need my 45-year-old lover back. I’m worried about how hurt she must be feeling. What will I tell my new girl? I am thinking of suicide.

The beauty and simplicity of life is that the heart wants what it wants. If this 45-year-old woman is available, if she was a positive impact in your life, then go right back to her. But every choice has a consequence and you have to think long and hard about the consequences of dating a woman old enough to be your mother.

There is always going to be pressure to conform to this thing or the other in life. You need to understand exactly what you want out of life to stay afloat. If you feel the new girl is not for you, tell her instead of stringing her along. She will hurt, yes. You can’t protect her from that.

You are young and are bound to fall in and out of love many times before you finally settle down so enjoy the dating period in your life. Don't beat yourself up but instead, enjoy the journey of getting to know yourself as you enter into manhood.

That said, I acknowledge how stressful this must be for you. To help you deal with your suicidal thoughts, please call this suicide hotline: 0722 178 177 – Befrienders Kenya

I wish you all the best.

Got a problem you want to share with Brenda? Please e-mail: [email protected]