In Summary
  • You are bitter and you are seeking revenge. Two things. What makes you think that she doesn’t already know of her man’s philandering ways?
  • Second, their marriage and how authentic or not it is, should not be your concern. It’s not up to you to tell her anything.

Dear Brenda,

I am 24 years old and have been dating a married man. (Do not judge me, which single girl hasn’t?) Now, he recently started becoming cold towards me. When I asked, he said that he wanted to focus on his family. I have given this man two whole years of my life. I feel bitter about this. Should I tell his wife about us so that she knows what kind of man she is married to?

From X.

No, not all single women date married men! Only those who have little respect for the institution of marriage do.

That said, I do not think you want to tell your lover’s wife of this affair because you care about her and her happiness. You are bitter and you are seeking revenge. Two things. What makes you think that she doesn’t already know of her man’s philandering ways? Second, their marriage and how authentic or not it is, should not be your concern. It’s not up to you to tell her anything.

As for your lost time, girl, get real. Since you knew this man was married when you started dating him, you have only yourself to blame. The good news is that you are still young and there is ample time to pick up the pieces and start your love life afresh.

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