In Summary
  • In a number of meetings with couples, the need to teach men foreplay has repeatedly been expressed.
  • Naturally, men get ready for sex almost instantly, especially in their early years in a relationship.
  • Women, on the other hand, need to undergo preparation.

“I need urgent help, please, you are my last hope,” came the voice. It was 7pm, and I was on my way home having finished my clinic duties for the day.

It is rare that bedroom issues become an emergency but to Jane, it appeared like there was dire emergency that she needed sorted immediately.

“It’s not that I do not love him,” she explained, “I seriously do, but he needs to be taught some basics about sex, just allow us to meet you tonight.”

The couple was only three months into marriage and as Jane put it, things were terribly wrong in the bedroom.

“You see, he has just called me when he is leaving town and asked me to lubricate before he arrives,” Jane continued explaining, “the next thing is that he will arrive here and begin intercourse the moment he meets me, it’s like rape.”

She said she had sustained bruises in her private parts during the few months they were married.

Her husband had formed a habit of calling while leaving town and asking her to lubricate in preparation for sex.

According to Jane, the man did not know anything about foreplay.

“My endeavour to explain to him the process a woman goes through before getting ready for sexual

intercourse has fallen on deaf ears. Or let’s just say that his concept of sex is very agonising.”

Jane is among the many women who endure dry and painful sex because their sex partners do not know how to prepare them psychologically and physically.

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