Throughout history, women have been accused of being gold-diggers, seeking out well-off men for the sole reason of profiting from their wealth.
For the gold-digger, the last thing sexual relationships are not pegged on is love or physical attraction — what comes first on their list is what they stand to reap from the man they cast under their spell.
Besides earning the gold-digger tag, these women have been branded many unsavoury names and often compared to blood-thirsty ticks which feed on their unsuspecting prey until they have had their fill before moving onto their next victim.
But not everyone agrees with this definition, arguing that the relationship between a gold digger and a rich benefactor is a symbiotic one, one that would never take off unless both parties were assured of profiting from each other.
“It is hypocritical to say that it is the woman who takes advantage of the rich man. Every man in such a relationship is aware that it is all about his money and in return for his generosity he gets himself a woman who is indispensable, attends to his every whim and treats him like a king. Theirs is a give and take relationship,” argues Sharon Mutheu.
Whatever your argument, there was an era, now long gone, when the term ‘gold-digger’ was used to refer to that young, curvaceous bombshell that shamelessly went after a moneyed wrinkled octogenarian who had no idea what to do with his mind-boggling millions.
Think Anna Nicole Smith, God rest her soul in peace, the once stunning blonde who got married to 89-year-old billionaire J. Howard Marshall in 1994. She was only 26 when she walked down the aisle, hanging onto the arm of a man 63 years her senior.
Eighteen months later, hubby passed away, leaving her embroiled in a lengthy court battle for his estate with his son. All along, Anna Nicole, who had posed for Playboy a couple of times and was even declared Playmate of the year in 1993, insisted that her marriage to Marshall had not been motivated by money — but we all know better.
Today’s gold digger has since evolved, shifting her sight further afield. Her target is not necessarily that man who is old enough to be her grandfather, given that nowadays, there are an increasing number of young millionaires out there who are too busy making the next million to deal with the time-consuming technicalities of a serious relationship.
This increasing crop of wealthy young and middle-aged men is an attractive package for the modern gold digger because she not only gets the cash, but hopefully, a passably good-looking and younger man to boot.
Unlike the headline-grabbing Anna Nicole who dropped out of school at 17 to get married, the 21st Century gold digger is educated, with a degree or two under her belt and holds a fairly decent job.
In fact, there is nothing sleazy about her, so you would be wasting valuable time digging for incriminating information about her on the internet. Everything, from her hairstyle to her high heels screams ‘class’ and no man would mind being spotted around town with her.
Those in the know will tell you that bagging a rich man is no easy feat, that it takes more than just flashing a ‘come hither’ smile and batting the eyelids suggestively – any woman can successfully do this if she puts her mind to it. The assignment is more demanding and requires the hunter to do some serious homework, the most important being to identify where to find the prey.
This woman knows that the probability of bumping into a millionaire at her local supermarket only happens in the movies.
She is therefore aware that hanging out at the local night club will only get her noticed by the wrong men, (those who do not fit the ‘rich’ bracket) and therefore has to upgrade her socialising haunts and start frequenting the joints of the rich. She also has to be ready to spend a tidy sum of money while at it, at least before she catches the attention of a rich man, because there is nothing cheap about the places that moneyed men frequent.
Also, if you must play the part, you must also look it, and this is a part that the gold digger knows how to play to perfection. She must show that she is interested, available but not desperate because men have a way of spotting desperation from a mile away and will either take merciless advantage of you or steer clear of you.
This woman is no wall flower either. To be noticed, she is aware that she has to stand out in an understated way. Since most rich men belong to the club of the cultured, they also expect their woman to exude sophistication and class, so if your idea of standing out means dying your hair red or green, you don’t cut it.
This woman knows that the millionaire can have just about any woman he desires, so she cannot afford to look like ‘just anyone’. She must look like the millions she is targeting. This means comfortable shoes, (read flat and boring) are out of the question and so is blow-dried hair since it is impossible to style and there is always the danger of having the smell of something burnt trailing behind you for a couple of days.
Three-month old cornrows are also out of the question for this woman, who must always have her hair looking impeccable and tastefully styled. Her wardrobe must flatter her figure, which is regarded as her greatest selling point.
This means baggy t-shirts and blouses, whether they hold a designer label or are the hottest fashion items, should not be spared a second glance.
Every choice one makes comes with a price and a responsibility, and for the gold-digger, this price and responsibility is greater than that of the ordinary woman whose relationship is motivated by something else other than money.
Being in a relationship with a rich man, especially a self-made rich man is no fairy tale. This man understands only too well the rigours that accompany the process of amassing wealth especially if he had to do it from scratch. Irrespective of all his wealth, he is frequently forced to cut short much needed sleep, has had to deny himself a number of luxuries to get where he is today and even though he forms part of society’s top cream, to remain there, he must continue working hard.
Such a man is certainly not ready to spend his hard-earned money on anyone unless he is assured of getting his money’s worth in return. The woman must therefore give him a couple of solid reasons on why he should spend his money on her.