MY STORY: A long journey to healing

Linda Kaveke was seven months pregnant when a trailer crashed into the car she and her boyfriend Ian Kamau were travelling in on Mombasa Road, leaving her physically and mentally broken.

At the age of 22, Linda became a single mother after Ian succumbed to his injuries, and she was left nursing a broken heart and a broken leg. Despite the severity of the accident that left the femur bone on her knee exposed, her baby bump was unscathed.

“I remember so many people came out of nowhere to help us after the accident. He was taken in an ambulance and I was brought by a good Samaritan to the hospital. That was the last time I really saw him,” said Linda.

Linda remembers being admitted in a hospital bed across from Ian. She kept watching him, waiting for him to wake up. Then at one point the hospital staff rushed to him with machines and closed the curtains around his bed. The curtain never opened again; no one said a word to her, and she never saw him again.

“The bone that broke and tore out of my knee was infected. At some point they said they needed to cut off the leg. But I kept on hoping it wouldn’t come to that so I had to go through a lot of surgeries. I had six surgeries within the first one month. The doctors had to remove this and to put in that. And every time I went into surgery, I was scared of losing my baby too,” says Linda.

After a month in the hospital, Linda had to undergo an emergency C-section. She was eight months pregnant but her water had broken.

In spite of her worries, the baby came out healthy… but she was weighed down by grief, excruciating pain in her leg and the responsibilities of being a new mother. It was the tears that she let out in the silent of the night that offered her some kind of solace.

“I would cry and cry at night. And I would put on a brave smile when people came to see me. But inside, I was weighed down by my troubles.”

HEALING PROCESS

The emptiness and pain haunted her through the five months she was admitted in the hospital as she went through more surgeries and medical attention for her leg. Although she had the overwhelming support of family and friends who walked with her through the journey, she still struggled through each day.

“When my baby was born on May 6th, a month after the accident, I was relieved to see her healthy. However, the wound on my leg was open and it would ooze a lot, causing me a lot of pain. And as I went through that pain, I had to wake up all the time to feed the baby and take care of her. It was difficult,” narrates Linda.

“At some point I would ask God, ‘Why me?’”

Linda decided to focus on the baby. Even when she felt like she couldn’t take it anymore, she would push herself to move forward because of her daughter.

Linda’s mum would work during the day and then go to the hospital to help her through the night. After some time, she got a cousin to help during the day.

Linda’s family became the rock that she leaned on even after leaving the hospital. Unable to walk around and carry her child, her family stepped in and took care of both Linda and the baby.

It was Ian’s mother who took her through the process of internal healing. She provided counselling for her, took the time to talk to her and helped her process what she was going through.

“It was hard, I was grieving and she was grieving. She kept on sharing her grief and I didn’t respond. One day, she brought in her fellow counsellor and that broke the ice. I felt comfortable talking to the professional. After a while, Ian’s mum took over,” Linda explains her counselling journey.

Linda admits that counselling is a process that never ends; two years on, she still seeks counselling. She says although many people don’t like it, she now believes in it. It is what has helped her cope and heal.

“I feel like I need to start moving on. I want to go back to my photography work. The doctor’s report is that I am not totally healed, and I can’t fold my leg but there is no pain in my leg now,” she says. “Emotionally, I am not there yet but I am better than I was before. With time I will get to where I want to be – a place where I will wake up and not feel like I am stuck. I will do this by continuing with my counselling, doing more and living for my daughter.”