- Last Friday, I gate-crashed a house party and it turned out to be one of the best nights of my life.
- What’s there not to love about house parties?
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I consider myself a well-mannered human. I don’t usually go to places where I’m not invited.
I guess that’s just how I was raised. But the human heart is rebellious and curious by nature so once in a while, we all break our own rules and surprisingly, we end up loving it.
Last Friday, I gate-crashed a house party and it turned out to be one of the best nights of my life. What’s there not to love about house parties?
Free meals, attractive women, good music and drama, it’s all there.
The plan came courtesy of my neighbour Mose.
He had told me about this ‘you guy, my guy’ type of guy who had moved into our hood from Runda and was throwing parties every weekend like parties were about to be banned.
Mose said the parties were on Hollywood levels of awesomeness.
Apparently, Mr New Guy’s parents were filthy rich and he had only moved away from Runda to our hood because his dad wanted him to learn how to stand on his own. Interesting.
At about 10 pm, we left for the party. The place was a bit far away so we used Mose’s car.
On the way, we picked up three of our friends (as if we were sure we were going to get in).
When we arrived, there were two watchmen manning the gate. They were holding long pieces of paper.
Those were the guest lists and we were not in them.
“Mnaenda wapi vijana?” one of the guards asked.
“Tunaenda kwa ile party,” I responded.
“Mko kwa list?” he inquired.
As I stammered, Mose took out a 500 shilling note and handed it over to the guard.
Those little bribes are usually referred to as ‘za macho.’
You hand over a small amount of money to a person who is in a position to help you and your problems are sorted.
To our surprise, the watchman refused.
“Boss, nyinyi ndio mnapromote corruption hii Kenya eeh?” he now seemed angry.
“Hapana, tunakujenga tu! Hizi vitu ni kuelewana”, Mose tried to explain.
“Ile mshahara nalipwa hapa ni mingi sana. Siwezi chukua pesa ndogo hivyo. Ebu pindua hii gari mrudi penye mumetoka.”
Our hearts sunk, especially when we saw a group of pretty ladies walking right past our car and the watchmen didn’t even check whether they were on the list.
As we slowly reversed the car, I heard the other watchman, who had been quiet all along, picking up his phone and speaking in my native language.
Ahaah! I immediately knew that this was my chance to build a connection. As soon as he hung up, I put on a fake smile and started conversing with him in mother tongue.
It didn’t take long for me to convince him to let us in.
We parked the car and walked into the house with confidence like we had been there a thousand times before.
Inside the party, it was all raucously chaotic. It didn’t take long for one of Mose’s friends to unleash his intoxicated melodrama and get into a fight.
He had taken one too many even before we reached the party.