6 REASONS TO: Avoid office romance

Sometimes, office romance results in involved parties feeling entitled and overly protective of each other. PHOTO| FOTOSEARCH

What you need to know:

  • Most 'fresh off the boat' employees are usually at a loss of how to react when they encounter sexual advances from fellow colleagues at work.
  • Some ignore the obnoxious colleague and pray that he or she will get bored soon enough.
  • Others confide in a trusted colleague who can quietly tell off the grabby employee on the victim’s behalf.
  • Do you have feedback on this story? E-mail: [email protected]

Unfortunately, most organisations in Kenya lack a proactive approach to their sexual harassment policy; some do not sensitise their employees on workplace sexual harassment.

In fact, most 'fresh off the boat' employees are usually at a loss of how to react when they encounter sexual advances from fellow colleagues, be it an imposed hug, suggestive ogling or outright request for sex. The next move is deciding how to deal with the issue.

Some ignore the obnoxious colleague and pray that he or she will get bored soon enough. Others confide in a trusted colleague who can quietly tell off the grabby employee on the victim’s behalf -- quietly because most new employees will not want to create a scene right in the middle of their orientation.

“Have you met Sally...”

“Which Sally...”

“Sally… the new employee who slapped Richard by the water cooler. Oh she is feisty!”

Nobody wants to be talked about like that.

There is the option of going to the human resource managers or officers of course, but what happens when the head of HR is the one who claims to be having endless sleepless nights courtesy of your well-rounded bum?

What if both parties are consenting and it is a matter of willing buyer willing seller?

Still no…unless it is just the two of you running the company. As long as there are other employees in the organisation, it is a bad idea to have sexual relations with a fellow colleague and here are six reasons why:

Loss of objectivity and clouded judgement in decision making. Most of our decisions are drawn from perceptions and it is easy to be tolerant of mediocre work if it comes with a promise of mind-shattering orgasms. Eventually, such lapses in judgement end up causing more harm than good, affecting the entire company.

Sexual relations with co-workers also blurs the professionalism line making it very difficult to give or take criticism at the work place. A suggestion that would have been readily taken as constructive criticism prior to the relationship now becomes a personal attack, often flagged with many undertones of anger and sometimes insubordination that undermines a conducive work environment.

Promotes favouritism that threatens team work. Once you start relating beyond professionalism with a fellow colleague, chances are you will start playing favourites which will hurt the rest of the team and create bad blood. It gets worse when these relationships are cross-tiered and come with benefits such as extra pay and undeserved promotions.

For example, when a boss chooses to engage in such relations with one of the employees, they open an opportunity -- either willingly or coerced such as through blackmail -- to offer something in exchange. Out here in the streets it is said, “Scratch my back I scratch yours.”

Lowers productivity. Strong feelings of attraction can tamper with employees' concentration and in effect lower their performance at work, dragging behind the rest of the team. Some love-struck colleagues have been known to steal a few hours of company time to indulge in a tangle or two.

Flirting in itself can lead to gross waste of company time as your colleague crush camps at your desk for idle chatter just because they miss seeing your dental formula or something along those lines.

Strains relationships with employees of the opposite sex. Sometimes, sexual relations at work result in involved parties feeling entitled and overly protective of each other.

However, since an organisation has different departments that work together to achieve the set goals, there is no way of shielding him or her from other colleagues as long as you all have tasks to accomplish.

In the end, the partners end up stewing in jealousy which often spills over to unsuspecting colleagues, creating a very messy work environment.

Weighs on your conscious. Most organisations discourage workplace romance and dating primarily because of the aforementioned reasons. Therefore, those who decide that the risk to swim against the flow is worth it have to do so discreetly.

The sneaking around and fear of being caught gnaws on the conscience of parties involved and subconsciously drains them of energy that would have been put into better use. It also sparks suspicion of their fellow colleagues fearing that they could be ratted out.

I know of a couple who came clean about their relationship and HR advised that one of them looks for an alternative job. Who is willing to start job hunting in this economy?

No place to hide. The soulful Enrique Iglesias in one of his best tracks “Escape” sings: You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love.

That is exactly what happens when you start a relationship with your colleague. We spend an average of eight hours -- the bulk of the day -- at the workplace so you can be assured that he or she will be constantly in your face.

Considering most of these relationships are mere flings, it gets worn out after a while. Usually went a fling loses its kick, you simply cut off communication and move on with your life. But how do you cut off links with your personal assistant who is required, as per their job description, to be constantly by your side? No escape.

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