This story came to mind when I read the unfortunate story of Ivy Wangechi, the Moi University medical student who was hacked to death by a man she had rejected. I would like to address any young woman reading this.

Possessiveness is not love. That boyfriend who wants to control who you socialise with, that one who insists on scrolling through your phone, constantly calls you just to say hi and wants to know where you are and who you are with all the time does not love you. Love is not controlling. Love is not possessive.

If there is a man in your life who is using gifts and money to try and win your attention or love, run, because he is a disaster waiting to happen to you.

If you have told him that you are not interested in him and yet he is still hanging around, hoping that you will change your mind, telling you that he will wait for you no matter how long it takes, don’t be flattered. Be very afraid because there is something very wrong with him.

Normal behaviour, when one is rejected, is to walk away, not to stay put, begging the person that rejected you to change his or her mind. If you have someone like that in your life, do all you must to protect yourself, including sharing your fears with everyone that can shield and protect you. By all means go ahead and report him to the police and ensure that this tormentor knows it. My heart goes out to Ivy’s family.

The writer is the Editor, Society and Magazines cnjunge@ke.nationmedia.com

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