In Summary
  • Being comfortable with your status will help you prepare for the possible rejection that your disclosure might elicit.

  • Safeguarding from secondary or new HIV infection, though, should not be left on the shoulders of the HIV positive partner alone.

There was a time when a HIV-positive status meant the end of one’s dating life. Now, it is possible to have a fruitful, long-term relationship even with HIV.

Many, though, remain in the dark about navigating this territory. Today, we look at a few ways you can date successfully even while HIV.

HIV vs Romance: The first mistake you will make is to make an HIV positive status the dictator of your love life. You must separate your status and your dating needs. “HIV is not one of the variables that determine whether you and your partner are an emotional and physical match. It is merely a measure of logistics and science. If all of the other elements that form a good relationship are in place, it will be unwise of you to let a positive status get in the way,” says Tyler Curry, an HIV positive author and creator of the Needle Prick Project HIV advocacy platform.

Disclosing your status: Before you can disclose your status, you will need to be accepting and comfortable with it, says psychologist Patrick Musau. “How you see yourself and your status is the first step to a disclosure. If it is a big deal to you, it will most likely strike him as a major deal,” he says. Being comfortable with it will help you prepare for the possible rejection that your disclosure might elicit.

“It also means that you should neither invest too much in the relationship nor take too long to disclose.” This is echoed by Curry, who points out that you must not personalise a rejection if it occurs. “Your date has a right to say yes or no to a relationship just as you do,” he says.

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