In Summary
  • Travelling will give you an experience and Worldly perspective that staying will not. Part of being together is being able to let the other achieve their dream.
  • It is also a test to see whether your partner can make this more about you, and less about him.
  • If indeed he cares and loves you then he will wait until you are done with your masters.

I am 27 years old. Before my fiancé and I started dating in 2017, we had been friends for more than 10 years.

We grew up in the same neighbourhood and schooled together.

One thing that he has known about me all these years is that I have always wanted to pursue my masters outside the country.

I have always dreamed of experiencing another country's way of life and education system.

Occasionally, he shared with me several scholarship opportunities that he came across.

But recently, I got an offer letter from one of the universities I had applied and to my dismay, he doesn't want me to go for the one-year course.

He says I can still study here. Notably, we were to wed in December and by me leaving, he feels that those plans will stall. I love him but I also don't want to give up this opportunity. What do I do?

 

READERS’ ADVICE

Choose one that you will never regret. For me, I'd go for the Master’s opportunity. If he waits for you, he was meant to be. If he doesn’t, well and good, there are a lot of good men out there! A good one will come along, the one meant for you.

Nderitu DK,

via Facebook

 

First off, this is something you discussed with him a long time ago, and he accepted. He has been helping you look for scholarship opportunities.

The fact that he's backing out now is a proof that he’s not sincere, and he’s the kind of people who does not keep promises.

Your partner is supposed to be your number one support system. Second, he waited 10 years to ask you to be his girlfriend. How come he now can't wait for a year to marry you?

Rachael Murugi, via Facebook

 

Ten years is not a short time in a relationship. Congrats! Going for your studies could affect your marriage plans. Your fiancé seems quite set for the wedding. You also love him but apparently your studies are equally more important to you. It's good to sit with him and address both of your fears openly to reach a compromise. You need to convince him why you prefer to study abroad, and not locally. A mere interest in experiencing another country's way of life is not convincing enough. As they say, "you can't eat your cake and have it". Be sincere and considerate as you deliberate the matter.

All the best.

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