Epic fail at pricey city restaurant

One would think that I would know better than to order an Italian dish that’s not pizza outside of an Italian restaurant, and least of all at a four-star city hotel for business travellers, but this is exactly what I did recently when I went to Nairobi’s Crowne Plaza in Upper Hill. This one-block behemoth possesses that unremarkable frontage of many regular city hotels worldwide which is echoed through the interior design. Okay décor, okay textures, okay furnishings. Nothing spectacular.

Any mental image of their lobby restaurant sweetly named Baraka was forgotten when I left the building.

To be fair, I was meeting someone for a business dinner and so the seeming lacklustre ambience could pass as appropriate. Being one who finds hotel buffets deeply offensive, I kindly declined the offer to serve from the spread laid out before us and asked to see the a la carte menu. The prices at Baraka are not for scoffing at and so my eyes quickly avoided the meat option almost as if they are programmed to know when my coins are at threat.

ITALIAN CHEF PLEASE!

After a while with the menu, I ordered a South African Chenin Blanc and asked if their spaghetti carbonara was any good. Our lovely waiter responded in the affirmative so I hushed the inner voice which was beginning to whisper in distress and ordered anyway. My colleagues picked items mainly from the Indian section of the menu but I held back as I had had a veggie korma just the night before.

We did not have to wait so long for our meals before they were set before us and I immediately regretted my decision. My entrée paled in comparison to the buttery, coconut curry aroma in my friends’ bowls and my spaghetti sat there in congealed cream staring at me in mockery.

I could tell straight away that it was overcooked. To make it worse, it was broken making it impossible to eat with a swirl of the fork. So there I was, stabbing at my broken pasta hoping to find a redeeming factor for the mess before me.

Luckily I found it. While my Italian friends would be completely horrified at the addition of cream to the egg sauce, I really appreciate the extra richness in our African variations of this Romanian classic. I could not tell what kind of bacon was used but it was delicious and in generous portions across my dish.

Black pepper and Parmesan cheese spread all through the mix brought a delightful flavour to my mouth. 

At the end of it all however, the texture of the food won the battle and I was unable to finish my meal. A travesty in my eyes. It would serve these establishments well to hire a real Italian chef as a tutor providing short courses to their in-house chefs before they can offer any Italian food to their customers.