In Summary
  • You just need to tell him that you visited your gyna after experiencing some discomfort and discovered you had a vaginal infection and that you would like him to perform a check up to confirm whether he may have any infection.
  • It’s about safe guarding your sexual life.

Please hide my identity. I went to the gynaecologist recently and found out that my husband has given me an STI. We have been married five years and we are a church-going couple. He is active in ministry. I don’t even know where he got the STI from – he is always at work, at church or at home. I need to bring this up with him but I don’t know how to have the conversation without him accusing me of being the one who brough the STI to our home, even though I know I am innocent. How do I discuss this?


You just found out that your husband is cheating on you – and you are worried about how he will react when you tell him? I think you need to reevaluate your priorities. Just tell him straight up that he has given you an STD. If he decides to turn the tables on you, then you know you have a dishonest man who will forever lie to you, church background notwithstanding, and you can decide whether you want to stay married to a cheater, whether you want to use condoms or whether you want to leave.

Anita Wambui, via email.


Contraction of STIs in marriage is a clear indication that one of you is cheating. This is very dangerous as it could even lead to contraction of HIV. It is important to organise a meeting with an elderly mediator who will be fair to everyone. Raise the issue and point out that you are very innocent in the whole issue and you want the best for the family. Reiterate the fact that faithfulness in a marriage is key to a successful marriage. Let him decide to stay faithful. Wishing you the best.

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