In Summary
  • Self-awareness has to deal with taking responsibility to understand what drives your behaviour, attitudes, perceptions, and emotions.
  • When one understands how they respond to others, it helps them change how they act and behave.
  • Every single must develop an ability to subdue their impulses, emotions, and behaviour for the benefits of their longer-term goals.

Remaining focused, vibrant, and goal-oriented keeps one attractive and satisfied with life instead of waiting for validation from someone else.

I don’t intend to be preachy, but I have always found the words of the Apostle Paul most fascinating in regard to his advice on family, relationships and marriage. The arguments Paul presents to the Corinthian church include singleness.

Just like marriage, singleness is a gift to be respected and enjoyed within its bounds. Second, each stage in life, including singleness and marriage, comes with responsible behaviour that comes from a sincere commitment.

Perhaps the greatest reason for single people wanting to get married is the assumption that marriage will either complete them, meet all their needs, solve all their problems, organise their lives and unleash all the potential in them.

However, singleness is about being you, building your self-worth and enjoying every step without compromise. You don’t want to look back when the spouse is here and the children have come to end up saying, “I wish…”

Take charge of your life

Leading yourself is part of maturing who you are, and the approach you have towards your life. Singleness gives one the opportunity to enjoy freedom and to invest in oneself. Because a person has all the time and resources to themselves, they can have the flexibility do whatever they want.

However, because this does not mean living irresponsibly, leading self brings to the table two key components: Self-awareness and Self-management. Relational intelligence requires these two components.

Self-awareness has to deal with taking responsibility to understand what drives your behaviour, attitudes, perceptions, and emotions.

Control one’s emotions

This helps you discover your strengths and weaknesses. Armed with this knowledge, you will be able to identify your areas that call for development.

Self-management is the ability to control one’s emotions and behaviour to achieve a certain desired end. When one understands how they respond to others, it helps them change how they act and behave.

While culture and people’s expectation plays a big role in how singles view themselves, there are other factors that a single person has to deal with. First, fear of being alone. Don’t allow this make you feel less of a person.

Instead, practice selflessness while you’re still alone. Enjoy freedoms while still alone. Embracing kindness and a public spirit will keep you energetic in life. Instead of being huddled in a corner by comments and words of people, we need to win them by our unselfish concern.

Second, singleness is a challenge to self-control. The primary area of self-control is in sexuality. While many desire to be in a relationship for the right reasons, many more are in it for selfish reasons.

Longer-term goals

Every single must develop an ability to subdue their impulses, emotions, and behaviour for the benefits of their longer-term goals. Seen as a padlock that keeps outsiders from freely influencing one, self-control provides a single person with the ability to steer themselves to their future.

There are many who choose to stay single regardless of the promising future that could beckon at their door step.

Fear of the unknown

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