MY WEEKEND: Just be sure you are in the right wedding ceremony before late

Have you ever attended the wrong wedding? Well, I know someone that did.

A colleague of his was getting married and theirs being a small department, they had all been invited to the wedding.

The church ceremony was to be held in a church in Westlands, while the reception was at the KALRO grounds, formerly KARI, along Waiyaki Way. 

Since he lives those sides of Kikuyu town, he decided to skip the church service and attend the reception instead.

When he arrived, he found guests that had arrived earlier lining up for food. He had not taken breakfast and so he happily made a beeline for food.

The fare was basic and the décor somewhat outdated and cheap-looking, which surprised him because the colleague getting married was generally flashy, trendy, and came across as sophisticated.

Anyway, he loaded his plate with available food: rice, uninspiring njahi (black beans) and meat stew and walked to the seating area.

He and his colleagues had agreed that whoever arrived first would book a table for the rest. He looked around but didn’t see anyone he knew, so he sat at the only empty table furthest from all the action and proceeded to tack into his meal, wondering why his colleagues hadn’t arrived yet.

He was scooping up the last mouthful when the ululations began, signalling the arrival of the newly married couple.

To his consternation, he didn’t recognise the couple making their way to the “VIP” tent. That is when it occurred to him that he was at the wrong wedding.

He quickly called one of his colleagues and explained his predicament. Turns out there were two weddings at the venue, the one he should have been at was further ahead.

He got up and made his way there, feeling like a gate crasher, imagining several pairs of condemning eyes following him to the next group of tents, believing that he is one of those people that go to weddings of people they don’t know just to eat.

When he got there, he found his colleagues tucking into roast chicken and other tastier things than njahi and could not help pitying himself.

This incident happened last year December, but this unlucky man tells me that his colleagues still get a good laugh whenever this incident comes up, which is often.

Since we’re talking weddings, not every smartly dressed man or woman you see in these functions is an invitee. The fact is that you could be seated next to a conman.

A friend learnt this the hard way during her wedding, about four years ago. Like many couples are doing nowadays, in their invitation card, they requested guests to gift them “envelopes” (money) rather than gifts, a request that makes sense – think about it, what are you supposed to do with a roomful of cheap water glasses?

On the wedding day, a young man dressed in a smart suit and bow-tie, (I remember because I handed him my envelope) walked around the tables collecting the money.

He looked every inch the part, plus a wide smile and a murmured, “Thank you, God bless you.” Such good manners.

We were therefore all surprised when much later, towards the end of the function, the MC introduced the young woman that had been given the responsibility of collecting the money.

By the time the ruse was discovered, the conman was long gone. Luckily, he  had the courage to steal from the bride’s side of the tent only.

Moral of the story? Introduce the person you have trusted with the collecting right at the start of the ceremony, or request guests to hand over their envelopes to the couple.

[email protected]; Twitter: @cnjerius. The writer is the Nation features editor

***

FEEDBACK

Hilarious article! It happened to me once. I was fresh from campus and a friend invited me for her birthday dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant. Everybody knows that in birthdays, there is free beer and food. I invited my boyfriend. At the end we were given Sh2,000 bill and I only had Sh100. I perspired. My furious boyfriend fortunately swiped his card to save situation.

 Faith

You had us in stitches too.  What your relative suffered was a mix of mis-communication, clash of cultures and  love of freebies.

Njeri

The article cracked me up. Reminds me of a story I heard of a girl who was invited by her boyfriend and she tagged along  her girlfriends, only for the bill to be brought and the boyfriend circles out his bill. It is good to find a way to ask “are you going to pay for it?”

Kevin

If I had shared my story with someone, I would have said this story was about me. I had a similar experience but thank God I had some cash.

John

For your relative I feel sorry but at least they enjoyed lunch.

Martha

Freebies are motivators which makes us to buy more (even useless items we do not need), vote for politicians we would have otherwise rejected and makes us dependent on them rather than working hard.

Antony

I had the same experience a few years ago. I bumped onto a friend and we went for lunch. I ate and when separate bills were brought I regretted meeting him.

Alex