In Summary
  • Ours had been a classic whirlwind romance. He first saw my number on a business card and decided to get in touch with me. That was in January 2014.
  • What followed was four months of a fast-paced, long distance romance, he in Nyahururu and I in Nakuru. As fate would have it, I lost my job at a hotel in Nakuru and moved to Nyahururu.

“It was a lonely day in December 2014 when I made the decision to end my life. I was alone and three months pregnant. My then boyfriend had walked out on me after an argument. I hadn’t eaten for two days.

“All I had with me was my phone but I was hesitant to call my mother or my friends. I was embarrassed. I mean, I had always been that strong, level-headed woman. How could I admit that my boyfriend was abusing me? Also, he had always been this thoughtful, charming person around our friends and family and I doubted that anyone would believe me.

“So I did the only thing I thought would end my problems: I downed a bottle of pills I had on my dresser which had been prescribed for a chest problem earlier in the year. As I lay on my bed waiting to die, I was overwhelmed by a sense of guilt because of the child that I was carrying. With my waning strength, I managed to walk out of the house and find the caretaker who, together with two other tenants, took me to the hospital. 

“Unfortunately, by the time we got there, it was too late. I was already bleeding. I lost the baby. I was in the hospital for two days during which I neither heard from nor saw my boyfriend. It was only after I was discharged that I called my mother to pick me up. I wasn’t ready to share with her the details of what had happened. I said nothing about the abuse, just that I had lost my baby. 

I found my boyfriend back in the house we shared. Just like the previous times we had fallen out and he had been violent, he was very apologetic. This time though, I knew that I was done with all of it.

WARNING SIGNS

“Ours had been a classic whirlwind romance. He first saw my number on a business card and decided to get in touch with me. That was in January 2014. What followed was four months of a fast-paced, long distance romance, he in Nyahururu and I in Nakuru. As fate would have it, I lost my job at a hotel in Nakuru and moved to Nyahururu.

“Our bond grew even stronger. Now we could see each other every day. We met each other’s parents and even began talking about a wedding the following year. Seeing as we were spending all our free time together, we decided to just move into one house. After all, we were going to be married. It made sense.

“It was when we started sharing a living space that I realised just how jealous and controlling he was. Having no day job, I took on a modelling job that I did mostly on the weekends. My absences made him even more jealous. He would call me all day when I was away, then he started calling my friends every time I was out to confirm that I was really where I had said I would be. It was embarrassing.

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