In Summary
  • He pays school fees for his siblings and financially takes care of his parents.
  • He puts us last as he expects me to take care of our family.

I have been married for close to five years now, and we have a child. My concern is that my husband puts his family before us always. He pays school fees for his siblings and financially takes care of his parents.

While that is not quite the problem, I feel he puts us last as he expects me to take care of our family. He wants me to pay all the bills, do the shopping, pay our son’s school fees, fuel our cars and says the only thing he will do is pay our rent. How do I make him see we come first? Or is it time to walk away, now that they say you can’t make a man change?

 

READERS’ ADVICE

Financial differences in a marriage may cause the collapse of a union if not addressed. In your case, you feel that your husband is not doing enough at the expense of his extended family. It is important to have a serious talk with him and express your dissatisfaction.

Make him understand that you are not against him supporting his parents and siblings, but he must as well meet his obligations as a father and man of the house. It would be wise if you could share responsibilities in the house. All the best.

Calvin Queens, via mail

 

It’s OK for your husband to look after both sides. But focusing too much on his family’s side and leaving you with all the responsibilities you have mentioned is unfair. You need to have a discussion with him on how to share the responsibilities. Remember not to start a conversation in a manner that is likely to push him away. Just be positive about every single talk. Quitting your marriage is not the solution.

Juma Felix, via mail

 

Page 1 of 2