In Summary
  • The partner who strayed often insists that you should both ‘get over it’ and ‘move forward.’
  • But that’s not how it works. You’ll both need time to explore and resolve your problems properly.

Infidelity is always devastating. And yet most couples do survive it.

You can predict those who will. They’re the ones who are willing to work through difficult issues and hurt feelings together.

They’re also willing to be honest — perhaps for the very first time. There’s a risk in that, of course, but really, you’ve got nothing to lose. Because it’s not worth being in a relationship where you can’t be completely open with one another.

Since trust’s been broken, you’ll need to be transparent. Hiding nothing means you’ve nothing to hide. So consider sharing the passwords on your phones, or agreeing to come home earlier, or to being completely open about where you are and who you’re with.

The partner who strayed often insists that you should both ‘get over it’ and ‘move forward.’ But that’s not how it works. You’ll both need time to explore and resolve your problems properly.

You’ll also need to resist the idea of restoring your relationship to ‘like it used to be.’ Because you can’t go back. The old relationship’s gone, and in effect you have to start over. With a different set of expectations and rules. So be open about your concerns, and all the changes you want.

TALK

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