Sexual crimes against children indefensible

Last weekend, the internet was stirred once again, this time by a 20-minute video of an adult man molesting a girl who appears to be a teenager, and is allegedly a niece under his care.

Now, having lived this long, I wouldn’t say that I am surprised at the lengths some men will go to for sexual gratification.

What shocked me were the reactions the video elicited. Netizens seemed to think that no crime was committed because the girl wasn’t aggressively resisting.

One woman even argued that the girl seemed used to the act, which made her a grown woman!

One would think that in 2020, we would all agree that a child can’t give sexual consent. Sexual relations with a minor should never happen, and when they do, it is defilement.

Similarly, an intoxicated woman can’t give sexual consent. And neither can a mentally impaired woman. There doesn’t have to be force for molestation or rape to occur. It’s that simple.

VICTIM BLAMING

If she is under 18, it is defilement. It doesn’t matter how grown-up she looks, or how curvy her backside is.

It doesn’t matter that she could have been exposed to sex in the past; it doesn’t matter that she says yes; it doesn’t even matter whether she is the one that initiated the act.

Not too long ago, a friend of mine narrated how a relative defiled her when she was just nine years old.

She remembers the older family members holding a meeting and quietly settling the “matter”, never asking for her input.

Later that night, she overheard her father shouting that if their mother had taught her daughters to dress and sit properly, none of this would have happened.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. There is nothing a nine-year-old can do to make her deserve defilement.

OPPRESSION

Two years ago, I remember feeling enraged when, during a public meeting, a woman representative from Central Kenya suggested that a child molester who had impregnated a minor be allowed to marry her and provide for the child instead of being charged.

I have heard this suggestion a few times since. People seem to think that a man’s willingness to cohabit with the child he molested, or to financially take care of the child that resulted from his crime, makes everything okay.

We all seem oblivious to the fact that having a child live with the man who violated her will only traumatise her more.

Besides, a man giving money to the family of his victim or buying food for the child that is the consequence of his crime isn’t financial support.

If anything, this just affirms that cycle of oppression. Feeling sorry will not undo the lifetime damage that’s been done.

Let us truly be our sisters’ keepers. If you see a child being preyed on by an adult, ignore the fact that she might seem to be enjoying his company.

Don’t take money from a man who molested your child, let him pay for his crime.