In Summary
  • Wherever you’re reading this from, remember to love what you do.
  • We may not all have the privilege to be doing what we love, but we have the choice – the choice – to love what we do. Choose to love it.
  • When you do things with love, it becomes easier, more fun and more purposeful for you and for the people engaging with you, your product or your service.
  • Love really is the answer.
  • Do you have questions for the writer? E-mail: lifeandstyle@ke.nationmedia.com

A reader emailed with questions. Annette said:

Hello Bett,

Thank you for your article on managing money as a couple [Editor insert link to Managing your money as a couple]. I enjoy reading your money articles and I have learnt a lot from them.

I have three questions:

1. Do you share with each other your monthly payslips? For example, there are months I earn more because of overtime or my side hustles. Should I disclose that I made more money this month to my husband, and by how much? I haven't been disclosing he only knows my net salary without any overtimes.

2. I feel like we send more money to his family, money that we could have invested elsewhere. Anytime a family member asks him for money he simply sends he doesn't know how to say no and it has become a constant problem between us.

3. What happens when one partner is smarter about money matters than the other is? And no matter how much I try to teach my partner he doesn't want to make changes to his lifestyle.

For example, last year I managed to save Sh300,000 from my side hustles and saving. When I told my partner I am buying a piece of land, he started complaining how he is the only provider in the family.

Yet we each have specific bills that we pay and he makes more than me.

Is this too much to ask?

Your number one fan,
Annette

**

Thank you so much for writing in, Annette! I truly appreciate your email – more so for being so brave to express the vulnerability stemming from your personal conundrum, and trusting me to guide you to a way out.

Before we get into your questions, I must point this out to you, our little community here – I love writing this column. And I enjoy sharing with you what I’m also learning about managing our personal finances.

Wherever you’re reading this from, remember to love what you do. We may not all have the privilege to be doing what we love, but we have the choice – the choice – to love what we do. Choose to love it.

When you do things with love, it becomes easier, more fun and more purposeful for you and for the people engaging with you, your product or your service.

Love really is the answer.

Thought to get that out of the way. You know, to kick off our week on a positive note.

Right.

I’ll answer your questions in three separate stories, Annette, because they require more depth than my word count in one story allows. Plus, to be honest, it’s an excuse for me and you to talk like girls, ha-ha.

GUT FEELING

Annette, you ask about disclosing your income to your husband in its entirety – that’s your salary, your overtime and your side hustle income.

What do you feel you should do? What does your gut tell you?

When I felt that I was ready to begin showing GB my payslip, then I did.

Of course, this didn’t begin when we began dating. It began when I was expectant with Muna, our daughter, and had moved in with him into what would become our family home.

The conversation of ‘how much does your writing bring?’ came to the table because we now had a shared goal to provide for our daughter.

That was back in 2015.

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