In Summary
  • My husband pays the rent, the house girl’s salary and school fees for our son. He also does the monthly shopping.
  • Should a problem arise during the month, however, he says I have to chip in using my salary.

I am 28 and have been married for four years. We have a three-year-old son. My husband pays the rent, the house girl’s salary and school fees for our son. He also does the monthly shopping. Should a problem arise during the month, however, he says he doesn’t have money and I have to chip in using my salary. I feel like he is not man enough. A good man should provide everything and I told him so this past weekend. Now he is not talking to me. He says I can leave if I want. Did I do anything wrong? Shouldn’t he be doing more?

 

Please learn one secret to a successful and happy marriage. APPRECIATION. Marriage is a partnership, and it means working together whereby if one hand can't provide, the other does. Why do some women have a mindset that a man has to do all the financing at home? You are lucky you even earn a salary. There are thousands of women whose husband don't do any of the things yours does. My sister please start nurturing your marriage before you drive your husband away.

Immy Karungi, Uganda

 

You say that your husband has taken up all bills, including paying your house help’s salary. This is unfair since marriage is about teamwork. You got married to complement each other. Without this, your husband will end up resenting you, which will in the long run hurt your marriage. You should sit down and come up with a monthly budget. He may take up the bigger chunk of it, but you should also chip in. You may take up, for instance, the kitchen bills. He most importantly should also never pay the house help. This is because if she happens to know who among you butters her toast, she may begin to disrespect you. When you start helping your husband, he will not feel the pressure; and he will be able to save and invest for your long term goals.

Njoroge Dennis, via mail

 

 

From your concern, I see a man who loves and cares for his family. The problem is that you don't want to use your money to support him run family affairs. The feeling that he is not man enough will only worsen the relationship. You need to change your attitude, and have a candid money talk with him. Marriage and money matters go hand in hand.

Martin Olayo, via mail

 

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