I refuse to be shamed for my nakedness

It’s time to stop dressing down women for taking nude photos. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • The bigger problem, the one that no one is paying attention to, is the cultural shame around (female) sexuality.
  • Shame which leads those around us to attempt to use our sexuality to diminish our confidence.
  • Nude photos aside, we frown upon (unmarried) women who proudly and openly enjoy sex.

As Kenyan woman, you have to strike a delicate balance between being labelled a slut or a prude.

Many women live in fear of being labelled sluts, with all the negative connotations that the label attracts. And this fear is real, given the numerous social media forums which seem to mushroom by the hour with the sole intent of “exposing” and shaming women. Posting explicit images or videos of women online has become the go-to form of revenge when a relationship goes sour, but some people do it for the “entertainment “factor.

I imagine that the first instinct of a woman who finds herself on the receiving end of such a threat is panic. This puts her in a prime position for exploitation and blackmail.

“But why was she taking nude photographs and videos of herself?” We ask over and over when yet another woman finds her naked photos posted on one forum or the other. No one stops to consider that the said photo was taken in private by a woman simply because she was confident and felt comfortable in her own skin. We don’t stop to think, we just assume that a naked picture is somehow connected to loose morals.

RECLAIM YOUR POWER

The bigger problem, the one that no one is paying attention to, is the cultural shame around (female) sexuality. Shame which leads those around us to attempt to use our sexuality to diminish our confidence. Nude photos aside, we frown upon (unmarried) women who proudly and openly enjoy sex. There is nothing wrong with a woman being confident in her naked body and being so confident that she decides to capture it on camera. There is nothing scandalous about a naked female form. The times when what women could do or not do with their bodies was policed strictly are long gone, and if they aren’t, they should be. But what do we do as women whom society still tries to fill with shame about our nakedness?

The first step is to delink shame from our naked bodies. There is no shame in being naked. Secondly, there is nothing wrong with a woman having a healthy and fulfilling sex life. There is nothing wrong with a woman who acknowledges that she loves sex and goes ahead to have it as often as she pleases. While sexual purity is a good thing to have, you owe it to nobody but yourself, and only if purity is what you are after; not because it is a societal standard that all women must aspire to. Once you free yourself from shame, you start doing things for yourself and living your life your own way, instead of doing things because the people around you think that you should live your life a certain way.

Thirdly, own your body. Stop giving people permission to use your body against you. When you start seeing your body as a precious part of you and not a source of shame, then the potency of your naked pictures diminishes. Thereafter, when a person calls you telling you that they have naked pictures of you, your first instinct will not be panic. Do not let people use the fact that you are a woman to keep you terrified.