To the left, to the right

Dr Joachim Osur details a congenital defect that can have a really big impact on the quality of a couple’s intimacy.PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • When Joy realised her parents’ plans, she quickly asked Andrew to move in with her. He was her colleague at work, 40 and single.
  • For a long time Joy had enjoyed Andrew’s company as a colleague.
  • They were emotionally attached even though they had never discussed getting intimate; if anything Andrew avoided such discussions.

Society sometimes forces people to marry. This thought crossed my mind as I listened to Joy at the sexology clinic. She was a single, 35-year-old graduate teacher. She enjoyed her work and spent most of her day supporting students. She rarely paid attention to her social life. Twice in a row she had been rated the best teacher nationally in the subject she taught. “So on that front I have been perfect but on the social side of things I am a wreck!” she exclaimed.

What brought Joy to the clinic was an immediate crisis in her bedroom. She had hooked up with a man as a matter of urgency to avert a social crisis only to discover that the man she had moved in with could not have penetrative sex. “The shape of his penis scared me,” Joy frowned. “I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.”

Joy moved in with the man in the first place was because her parents had arranged for a man to move into her house as a husband. She had never met the strange man. Her parents took the step because, after a long wait, grilling at family meetings, private talks with cousins, aunties and others, she seemed not to move in that direction. Her extended family concluded that there was something abnormal with her, so her parents arranged to have this man move in with her.

“I know I am not abnormal,” she explained, “I just did not want to rush into marriage. What is the hurry anyway? Don’t people even marry at 50?” she asked rhetorically.

When Joy realised her parents’ plans, she quickly asked Andrew to move in with her. He was her colleague at work, 40 and single.

For a long time Joy had enjoyed Andrew’s company as a colleague. They were emotionally attached even though they had never discussed getting intimate; if anything Andrew avoided such discussions.

It was Joy who broke the ice. She convinced Andrew that they could make a good couple. Three days after they moved in together, Joy was in my office. “The shape of that thing is scary, it is curved and twisted,” she explained, “and there is no way it can enter a woman!”

I asked to see Andrew and examined him. When flaccid the penis looked almost normal, although he reported that he was unable to pass urine while standing (the urine would spill on his thighs rather than away from him). He always urinated squatting. I gave medicine to induce an erection and yes, Andrew’s penis, when erect, was curved and twisted with the tip facing backwards. He reported that his penis had always been this way and that it was not a result of trauma.

On further interrogation, Andrew confirmed that he had never had sex. He avoided intimate relationships because of his abnormality. The defect had also affected him psychologically and at one point, he suffered depression. His self-esteem was also extremely low.

I diagnosed Andrew with congenital penile curvature. This where one is born with a defect of the penis. The defect can be of varying severity: Mild cases go without treatment but severe cases like Andrew’s require surgery. “I have been embarrassed to discuss this with anyone and I did not know that treatment is possible,” Andrew explained.

Andrew was assessed fully to ensure that the defect did not extend to his internal genital organs. Fortunately, it was restricted to the outside. He underwent surgery with a team of three doctors. The surgery took four hours. The healing process was good and within three months his penis was close to normal. He could urinate while standing and the curvature was minimal.

“We attempted intimacy and there were no problems this time!” Joy said happily on their last visit to the clinic. I nodded understandingly as Andrew smiled shyly.

“All is well that ends well,” I said as they shook my hand and walked out of the clinic holding hands.