Torn between two men
This week’s reader is wondering whether to stay in her long-term relationship or get together with her workplace lover. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP
What you need to know:
- He is infatuated by the idea of messing around and doing so with someone else’s partner fuels the thrill further.
- If you were to be exclusive he would soon disappoint you with his lack of attention towards you.
- Stick to the man who has been there for you. By your own admission you have stated that he is a good man.
Q: I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for three years. It’s an okay relationship – he is a good, dedicated man.
However I am attracted to someone I work with. We have been hanging out and flirting for the last three months.
I really feel my heart flutter when I am with my colleague. He says he feels the same way, and he wishes we could be together forever.
I am not sure whether to stay with my man or break up in order to be with my new love. I feel like either way, I will end up missing the other.
Please help me; what direction should I go?
READERS REPLY
Stick to your boyfriend dear. Being with you for three years proves he loves you. Don’t leave him for someone you not sure of. Men of nowadays are about the hit and run. Be careful.
Betty Pate Busuru, via Facebook.
Love is strange, because when you feel you are in love someone amazing appears. And this is the dilemma for us humans. In life there is only one direction to follow and that is the direction of you heart. Just do your cost-benefit analysis, that is, if you are willing to give up the three years for the three months of your relations. Either way you will end up missing the other.
Ogola Anthony Otieno, via Facebook.
You’re just obsessed, and if not, you are bored. Stay with your boyfriend and look for ways to also feel aflutter with him. Life is too short to play around.
Atenyi K Kwalove, via Facebook.
You should settle with the one who loves you, not the one you love. When you commit yourrself to one you love and that person doesn’t love you, they will only end up misusing and finally dump you. Otherwise when it comes to settling down, consider the responsible one.
Joseps Chenze, via Facebook.
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EXPERT ADVICE
Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:
Office romance is exciting, thrilling and extremely intoxicating but it is all based on psychological conditions that make you feel like you are in love.
The key ingredient is lust, which in itself is amazing, but I warn you against taking it any further because without your office setting the thrill will die especially for your male colleague.
He is infatuated by the idea of messing around and doing so with someone else’s partner fuels the thrill further.
If you were to be exclusive he would soon disappoint you with his lack of attention towards you.
Stick to the man who has been there for you. By your own admission you have stated that he is a good man.
Concentrate on nurturing your relationship. The unknown may seem sweet but it is not worth destroying a functional relationship.
