Lately, I have been sleeping late (11pm), something that never used to happen.

Sleeping habits depend on so many things — stress, the bed, the city, the person sleeping next to you and what they ate that night, the kind of neighbours you have … it’s not midlife crisis.

Obsession with appearance: Sometimes as I walk past a shop in town I will look at my reflection on the shop window. Maybe even wink a little sometimes if I’m in a great mood. Is that an obsession with one's appearance? Am I suffering from midlife crisis?

Disconnecting with old friends and replacing them with younger ones: Sometimes what “old friends” want to do is drag you to one of those bars where you sit on plastic chairs and shout, “Kajembe, kwani leo hii nyama yako ni ngumu aje?” You can’t do this every weekend.

Sometimes you want to know how the other side lives. Midlife? I ’m a writer, it’s necessary.

Feeling tied down: Same job for six years. Same house for five years. Same car for five years. Same spouse for 15 years.

Same music in the car from Nairobi to Kisumu. Same, same, same. Come on, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for questioning sameness. It’s not midlife, it’s wanting change.

Thoughts of death: When I was in high school, I always prayed that my mother doesn’t die while I’m still in school. I was scared of it.

Because then we would all fail in life. When she died seven years ago, I started thinking of death, but in a very defiant way.

And now that grief has transformed, I pray to God to keep me alive to see my children through to a place where they can fend for themselves. Then He can take me. If this is midlife, then I have been having it since 1992.

Leaving a spouse, having an affair: I know people who were married for one year. I also know people who were married for 13 years and broke up.

I also think having an affair is a symptom, not the problem. And the problem isn’t always midlife crisis, sometimes it could be something like redemption of self-esteem. Or opportunity. Or boredom.

Drastic change in habits: My niece Candy is a vegetarian. One day she suddenly stopped eating meat. She says eating meat is bad for the environment. She’s 21 and very smart. Is she suffering from midlife crisis? No, she just wants to save the planet.

Have a crisis-free weekend.

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