Mama, you will always be missed

Four women pen touching tributes to their dear, departed mothers. PHOTO| FILE

What you need to know:

  • Last weekend as the world celebrated Mothers’ Day, four women would have given anything to have their mums around to celebrate them too.
  • Unfortunately, they lost their mums and have struggled to find their place in the sun without her guiding compass.

Last weekend as the world celebrated Mothers’ Day, four women would have given anything to have their mums around to celebrate them too.

Unfortunately, they lost their mums and have struggled to find their place in the sun without her guiding compass.

They share their stories with Soni Kanake.

 

Alivisa Midenyo, 26, is a procurement student. Her mum died when she was only four. Today she can only wish her mum had been there to guide her through life’s journey.

Alivisa Midenyo, 26, is a procurement student. Her mum died when she was only four. PHOTO| COURTESY

Dear Mama,

Mother, where do I start? Or should I just go straight to the end? Thinking about this Mother’s Day raises more questions than answers in my mind. To say my life has been empty without you would be an understatement.

I miss you and your presence every waking moment of my life. You left when I was only four – when I was just beginning to understand the world around me.

I can’t help but wonder if I drove you up the wall during my ‘terrible twos’. How was I as an infant? Did I cry all night or was I that angelic baby who slept peacefully all night? I can imagine your joy when I took my first steps. Or when I started talking.

Deep down, I believe my life would have turned out differently if I had you around. Not having you in my life to watch me grow up... Not being there to train me up to differentiate right and wrong... Not being around to watch your little girl blossom into the strong woman I have become.

It would have been better with you here.

Alivisia Midenyo's mother. PHOTO| COURTESY

They all say I look like you. They say I have your smile. They say I think and reason the way you did. An exact version of you, no doubt. The other day granny said that I am living your dreams. They told me you wanted to travel. Mummy, I love travelling. 

I’m almost done with college and will be graduating soon. I would have given anything for you to be there in that graduation square when they call out my name so that you know how proud I’ve made you. How I wish you would have been there to walk me down the aisle when the time comes... to give me motherly advice on how to be a good wife.

The desire of my heart is that I continue to make you proud. That whenever you look down, you can smile because I live, laugh and love. Mother, may you continue resting in peace. Even in death, I love you and your legacy continues to live in me.

Your loving daughter,

Eve.

 

 

Cecilia Asibitar Ekuwom was in Standard Eight when she lost her mum. Life was really tough for her and her sister as they had lost their dad the year before. Today, she has beaten the odds to become a nurse.

Cecilia Asibitar Ekuwom. PHOTO| COURTESY

Dear Mama,

Time has really flown and I can’t believe it’s been 15 years since your demise in that fateful July in 2003. A decade and a half that has been marked with anguish and turmoil but God has seen us through. Mummy, you left when my sister and I needed you the most.

I remember I was in Class Eight and ready to do my exams. I had to grow up very fast as I was now ‘mummy’ to my younger sister, Sharon.

Playing the role of both a mother and a big sister was the toughest thing for a teenager. Thankfully, your cousin, Uncle Moses Elibit Ikaru, took us in and raised us.

Mama you raised a strong girl and even when uncle could not afford to pay my school fees, I was able to raise funds doing odd jobs.

I was also lucky that the Mama Mzungu Foundation paid for my schooling and were also there for me when I joined KMTC - Kenya Medical Training Centre where I pursued a career in nursing. I love helping people and your sociable spirit lives in me.

Every time I think of what Sharon and I have been through, I can’t help but think it would have been easier had you been around.

I really missed you when we were growing up. I now know that nothing can replace the love of a mother. I’m certain this was the reason Sharon went looking for love in all the wrong places.

Cecilia Asibitar Ekuwom's mum. PHOTO| COURTESY

She just wanted to feel wanted and loved. I’m glad though that even though she dropped out of school in Standard Six, she is settled with her husband and they are okay Mum.

Despite the trials and tribulations, I am glad Mummy because I’m now a nurse. I’m able to raise my son and help a few people in our community. It’s sad you never got to meet my son, Alpha and Sharon’s four children because I’m sure you would have made a great granny.

As the world continues to celebrate their mothers, I celebrate you Mum; you gave us a solid foundation, which enabled me to succeed. I’m a tough cookie but I’m grateful.

Rest well till we meet again, Mama.

Your loving daughter,

Cecilia.

 

 

Hannah Wangari Gakuo, a communications and PR practitioner, lost her mum on the day she joined Form One. Almost three decades later she talks about the short time she and her two siblings spent with their Mum.

Hannah Wangari Gakuo. PHOTO| COURTESY

Dear Mama,

Goodness! It’s almost three decades since you’ve been gone. I remember I had just been admitted to Bishop Gatimu Ng’andu Girls High School and you were excited.

You did my shopping and we travelled from Mombasa, where we lived then, to Karatina. The previous week, you and Dad had taken my younger brother, Lawrence, to Nyeri Primary School, where he was joining boarding school and now it was my turn to be taken to school.

I had received my admission letter and you had borrowed permission from your teaching job to take me to school. You and Dad said your goodbyes and left. Little did I know that would be the last time to see you alive.

Hannah Wangari Gakuo's mum. PHOTO| COURTESY

What a way to be introduced to high school. But all these years later, I still remember the beautiful light blue skirt suit you wore that day.

Daddy had bought it for you during one of his tours to the UK. But God has been gracious to us as a family. Your three children have done you proud, you would be so happy if you were around.

We have all taken after you in one way or another. I have you height, your strong sense of intuition and deep laughter. Lawrence too has your height and sense of intuition while your last born, Muthoni has your warm heart and is a foodie just like you were!

The other day, Lawrence and I were chatting and remembered what a disciplinarian you were. The memories of your favourite white belt which would immediately change from a clothing item to a disciplinary tool are still fresh all these years later.

I remember after one disciplinary session I packed my clothes in a paper bag and told you that I was going to look for my real mum. Today I can only laugh at that memory!

You caught up with me at the gate and told me to come back home. But you always took time (in between the beatings) to ensure we did our homework.

Thank God the beatings ended when I joined Standard Six, (laughs). And of course when you got home we had fun rummaging through your handbag looking for sweets and chevra.

Mummy, we miss your warmth and love, which always lit up the house.

Thank you for instilling discipline in us for the short time you were with us. We might not have realised then, but it set a foundation that has made us responsible adults. As the world celebrate their mothers this month, we celebrate you Mummy.

Your memories will always be engraved in our hearts.

Your loving daughter,

Wangari.

 

 

Hellen Njoki, 31, lost her mum almost five years ago. The memories are still fresh though the urban planner is afraid they are slowly becoming distant.

 

Dear Mum,

On October 27, 2013, earth lost one of her most beautiful angels: You. The pain of losing you was, and is still very raw.

Then there is the anger at the unfairness of it all. How dare the sun shine that day and the next? Where were the wailing winds, angry thunder, solar eclipse and deluge to match my tears?

Why would fate rob you of the chance to know your grandchildren? I feel terrible that we never made any videos! It is so difficult to tell the children about you; they don’t get how absolutely amazing you were, perhaps because they are still too young.

Hellen Njoki, 31, lost her mum almost five years ago. PHOTO| COURTESY

How is it where you are now? Do you miss me? Or is heaven just a figment of our imagination? No, you are the reason I must believe that it exists.

Nearly five years on, I am terrified that I am losing little memories of you, of us. What was your favourite colour? Little pieces of your things that I held on to remind me of you are slowly falling apart, aging. How was your laugh? I can see the smile, but the sound of your laughter is fading. We really should have made those videos.

They say that time heals, but are our memories the price that must be paid?

You raised us so well Mummy. We are doing so well in our respective fields. You would be proud. Well, other than the fact that your son is yet to marry. You would not be currently amused.

Five years of questions. Match-less. Irreplaceable. Sleep well, Waithera.

Njoki.