MANTALK: When being a father saves you

Respect the rules of the road. They are there for everybody. PHOTO | COURTESY

What you need to know:

  • I rolled my window and said confidently “hello officer,” because I’m a law-abiding citizen.
  • We are told you have nothing to fear from the police if you are doing the right thing.

I drove out of this building. At the next roundabout, the worst type of traffic police - one on a motorbike - stopped by my car.

I rolled my window and said confidently “hello officer,” because I’m a law-abiding citizen who pays his taxes, and we are told you have nothing to fear from the police if you are doing the right thing. Because the officer is there to serve us, all of us. He flicked up the visor of his helmet and said rather gravely, even with sadness, “now, why do you behave like this on the road?”

He sounded like an admonishing parent who was so tired of having to be summoned to school to solve yet another problem. I said, “what? What have I done?!” I was sure he had mistaken me for someone else. He turned and asked, “do you know what that is?” I poked my head out the window. I said, “I’m sorry, what?” He said, “That is a full yellow line. Follow me.” Then he flicked back his visor and rode away.

I realised my mistake. I had crossed a yellow line into the road from the building. But come on, how many people even look at those lines unless you are on a highway? Besides leaving that building would have meant going the opposite direction for 300 metres before turning back at the roundabout.

I knew he was going to take me to the police station and once they take you to there, the conversation becomes a lot different. So I followed him, overtook him and stopped at the shoulder of the road. He stopped and said, “you are not resisting arrest, are you?” I said, No, officer, I’m not, I want to talk. He said, “Talk? About what?” I said, about what just happened back there? He said like a smartass, “Oh something happened there?”

I said, “Come on, isn’t that why you stopped me?” He said, “Look, we can also talk at the station, we have nice seats there. Let’s go.” Then off he went before I could tell him that I prefer we both sat on our seats and not the seats at the police station. So I trailed him until we got into the police compound, where I parked next to his bike under a tree.

ROAD RULES

As he slowly pulled off his riding gloves, I told him that I didn’t even see those yellow lines, that I never see them, that I never break rules, I stop at lights, I stop at zebra crossing, I’m kind on the road, I don’t drink and drive, I’m considerate to other road users, with perhaps an exception to red plates, but come on, those guys are entitled on our roads and we need to rise up. He looked at me and chuckled.

I think he agreed. I continued speaking quickly before he dragged me into the station. I said I was also kind to animals, especially dogs. I added that he looked like the kind of person who sees when a person is sorry, and I’m sorry, so is it possible to let this little transgression go? Even after speaking like that, he said ‘nope follow me’. Now I was irritated.

Just as we were about to get into the doorway of the police station, I held him back gently by the elbow and said, “Officer, look, wait, come on, wait a minute. Don’t demean me like this.

You look like a father like me. Come on, you have made you point, I made a mistake. Don’t make me grovel and reduce me to nothing. Don’t kick me when I’m on my knees. Show me some grace. I’m someone’s father like you, come on, and from one father to another, let me go.”

He sighed and stared at me for long and said, “respect the rules of the road. They are there for everybody, not just fathers, everybody!” Then he let me go. I couldn’t even believe it.

Why am I saying this story? If you are a new father and you are not having much sleep because you are taking turns at night and the baby is driving you up the wall, and you are wondering why the hell people have babies, anyway here is one reason; being a father might one day save you from a male police officer.