OFF MY CHEST: Why do we put so much pressure on children?

A parent once visited school to see how his son – a Form One student – was doing. The couple had a conversation with their 13-year-old son, with the father insisting that he should score no less than a B plain. He then told me they needed me to watch over their boy.

Later, they would tell me in the presence of the boy, "He knows what I told him I will do if he fails."

THREATS

The boy was terrified by the scolding he had received. This, I could tell from his facial expression.

A few teachers who were in the staff room joined in the conversation. One asked the boy how old he was, and it is from this that I learned the boy's age. The father must have noticed by then that I'm not so much of a talker and must have been looking forward to strike a conversation with another teacher. For when one teacher spoke, a smile appeared on his face.

“Mwalimu,” he said, “by the way, this boy is very cheeky. Watch over him carefully.” The mother, standing behind her husband, was quiet, not uttering even a word. It seemed to her, that she felt some kind of protection and pride (of who knows what) from where she stood. To me, she was presiding over the unnecessary admonishing of her son. “He scored marks far much below his ability because of being playful,” the father added. “Mwalimu,” he pointed a finger at the now confused son, “don't let him fail.”

“Now that you have shown him to me, he must not joke around,” the teacher said. “He will be in my care. And should he play around, I'll work on him,” the teacher continued, forcing out a mirthless laughter. Now, work on him would have been okay, but the teacher did not want to leave anything to chance. No, he's not one to let you do the thinking. “I'll beat him,” he added.

I was keen on reading the message on the man's face the moment the words 'I will beat him' slipped out of my colleague's mouth. The man had stopped as if holding the image of the boy being caned in his mind. He gave the teacher the sort of look that suggests ‘You have spoken my mind’. Then he spoke, as if beating was something interesting, "Do it mwalimu. This boy must pass."

I will not bother you with what other things the conversation led into.

FEAR

An innocent boy barely into his teens is going to spend the next four years at school knowing that he must work hard, thinking about whatever it is his father had promised to do to him should he fail to attain a grade B plain. And from the way it was said, what his father might do as punishment to his failure cannot be anything good.

The boy is going to forget everything he has ever dreamed of doing, and instead focus on not irking his teachers and parents.

The idea of a punishment from the teacher any moment might make the boy hate social places. Everything he does, he will be very careful. Not that this care is dangerous. It is only dangerous when it is carried out with awareness that it can attract punishment. It is common for one to be a victim of a mistake when he's around other people. Isn't this therefore the genesis of anti-social life?

Yet, education occurs in a social context and has social aims. What then, is the goal of such an education? The pressure we put on schoolchildren is not only detrimental to their well-being but also against the aims of education.

Such a child might not pursue his or her interest and hence lead a life that is not fulfilling. Such children grow up fulfilling their parents' dreams and do only what is expected of them and not what they wish to do. When they grow up then, they are not quite responsible. For that is how those around them have taught them to live.

Learners are major stakeholders in their own education. They should be consulted and their views incorporated in the expectations heaped on them.

Teachers and parents must help learners come up with appropriate strategies of achieving their (own) goals.

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