In Summary
  • I have a challenge of sustaining relationships with women.
  • These women would love me to be communicating with them every day, but I just don’t know what we would be talking about.
  • When I don’t know what to discuss, I sex chat them.

Hi,

Thank you Kitoto for the excellent job you do to help us in our various situations. I am one of you fans. I am a 28-year-old graduate, and currently a small scale entrepreneur. I wish to share with you my dilemma. I have a challenge of sustaining relationships with members of the opposite sex (women). I think the longest relationship that I have had lasted only two months.

I admit that I have very poor communication skills. These women would love me to be communicating with them every day, but I just don’t know what we would be talking about. When I don’t know what to discuss, I sex chat them. I have also discovered that most of these women that I meet, either online or offline are married. What I don’t like about them is their habit of begging for money. When I call them out for such habits, they say I hate women.

Sir, I wish to marry a woman of my dreams, since I am no longer getting younger. Do I have a real problem? What can I do to attract a truly good woman who can make a good wife? I am looking forward to hearing your strategic response.

 

Hi

Thank you for being a regular reader. This column is committed to providing space for sharing issues like the one you have raised or success stories that others can learn from. Relationships may be complicated for several reasons, including accommodating differences that exist between men and women, how they perceive issues, their upbringing, associations and many more. It is, therefore, important for spouses to be willing to know what they are not willing to give up.

As much as one would want to agree with you that the world is short of good women, others would argue the opposite. I believe that what the world of relationships needs are values that help give support to it. Such values are encapsulated in the word love. Beyond feelings, love must be patient, long suffering, kind, persevering, and should not keep a record of wrongs. Such values are not self-centred and are not just about you. They think and treat others better than self.

This is where you need to define what your dreams are. While at it, do remember that there is no angel outside there waiting for you. It is all about what is trivial and needs to change versus what we are not willing to change or compromise. In addition, in your communication, go for substance. It is important for you to know that marriage needs a healthy foundation, if sex is to bring pleasure. When you meet a woman, seek to determine what areas you have in common. Merger areas like in beliefs, finances, types of mannerisms that can be tolerated, communication, conflict management, and common vision on the future is what matters.

 

 

Is this man using me just for sex?

Dear Kitoto

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