Help me find a date quick!

How do I get myself a boyfriend in these few days? Please give me advice urgently! PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • What makes sense is taking your time and dating men to see what is out there.
  • It is better to have a man who treats you well year round than to have a man who fulfils his romantic obligation only on such days as your birthday or on Valentine’s.
  • Do not rush to find a man who will only guarantee you heartache in the long run.

Q: Help! I don’t want to be alone this Valentine’s! February 14 is fast approaching and I only have a few days to get myself a date. All my girlfriends will be showing off they gifts and dates they have received on their Instagram and Snapchat and once again, for the third year in a row, I will be sitting at home nursing my lonely heart. How do I get myself a boyfriend in these few days? Please give me advice urgently!

 

READERS' REPLY:

All I can advise you is take care as you look for someone to treat you for Valentine’s Day. Wilson Mutwiri, via email.

 

Hey girl, it doesn’t matter whether you have a boyfriend or not on Valentine’s Day. You can spend time with your family or friends. Wait for your right man to come. Don’t rush into things just because your friends have boyfriends. You can post pictures of good times with your family. Happy Valentine’s Day! Vivian Aluse, via email. 

 

The fact that your friends are in relationships does not mean you must also be in one. Life offers opportunities at different times, mostly when we least expect. So take your time and make use of it without sounding desperate this Valentine’s period. Any pressure and desperation that amounts from your current status will lead you to a miserable relationship. You can spend the day with your family members and close friends who makes you feel good and when the right time comes, you will find somebody who deserves you as you are. Juma Felix, via email.

 

There are many handsome young men out there who are jobless so maybe that day you can employ one to keep you company and take pictures to keep up with your friends who will be showing off on their accounts. Sarah Mirie, via email.

 

I feel for you, but think again: why do you need a man? Is it for showing off? You can spend your Valentine’s Day with friends who are in the same situation. Valentine’s is about love and there are many people out there who are in need of love. Think about your siblings and parents to start with. We know many who show off on social media but they are miserable in real life. Don’t be one of them. You will get a man when the right time comes. Scothez, via email.

EXPERT ADVICE

Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:

It is not practical to wish to gain a man within a short time period. What you need to ask yourself is why it is important to have a man on Valentine’s Day. Is it about a man being in your life or is it based on a form on competition between you and your friends? What makes sense is taking your time and dating men to see what is out there. It is better to have a man who treats you well year round than to have a man who fulfills his romantic obligation only on such days as your birthday or on Valentine’s. Do not rush to find a man who will only guarantee you heartache in the long run. Take your time and find yourself a good man who you are compatible with.

 

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NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA

Q: Please help me work things out with my husband. We have been married for five years now. He provides for me and our three-year-old child in every way. I have a job but I manage to save all my money because he takes care of all the bills and even my personal needs very generously. The problem is… ever since baby came, our marriage has felt dry and empty. When I try to talk to him about my day he tunes out. He doesn’t offer much conversation about his day, either. There is no romance – to be honest, he wasn’t really romantic even when we were dating, but I hoped he would change after that. I never get flowers or jewellery. For Valentine’s Day he took me to the local pub for nyama choma after I insisted on a date. Sex with him is really boring. What can I do to bring the spice back? Or should I just have an affair to compensate for all the things I am missing?