JUST BRENDA: My mum doesn't respect my time

My mother wants to know my every move and expects me to drop everything whenever she calls me to run an errand for her. PHOTO | FOTOSEARCH | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • When you get to a certain age, everyone has a specific way of doing things.
  • Sometimes you want to leave the dishes in the sink, and your mother doesn't operate like that.
  • Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]

Hi,

Thanks for all the good work.

My mother is always good to me and she is hosting me as I look for a job. I say hosting because I can’t wait to leave that house. She wants to know my every move and expects me to drop everything whenever she calls me to run an errand for her.

I don’t mind it but I am starting to feel like she is taking advantage of me. Even though I am jobless, I feel like she should respect my time and not get upset when I tell her no. How do I deal with this situation?

 

Thanks for reading!

You need to leave your mother's house. This is actually the beginning of the end. The problem here is that two adults (who are not married to each other, and even then it's tricky, ha) cannot live in the same house and be content.

When you get to a certain age, everyone has a specific way of doing things. Sometimes you want to leave the dishes in the sink, and your mother doesn't operate like that.

Sometimes you want to stay out late, and your mother won't have that. You need to figure out a plan, and fast.

Perhaps the first step is to take whatever job you can find and build capital to move out as you continue looking for something you want to do. Another option is to move in with a sibling, if you have any?

I bet they would understand that you can't live with her past a particular stage. Make sure you clarify that it's a temporary arrangement, though. You also don't want to wear out your welcome.

A quicker method would be to have a conversation with your mother and tell her being jobless doesn't automatically mean you can do everything for her, and you need a little more respect.

See what she says, and then decide how to act.

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Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]