MUM STORIES: I have known the joys of motherhood despite tough times

Motherhood is the best gift ever. I have two kids – 16-year-old Renah Rutendo and 14-year-old Stan. I can have a really bad day sometimes, but their smiles, giggles, new accomplishments and stories make everything alright.

Being a journalist and senior editor at a Zimbabwe weekly newspaper means I work long hours and under a lot of pressure. Many people ask me how I manage to put more than 16 hours on some days and my response has always been simple – “I do it for my kids”.

As a mother, I want to provide the best I can under a very difficult economic environment. Many in Zimbabwe would attest to the fact that the economic crisis in my country has reached alarming proportions. Many people are struggling to make ends meet and provide basics for their children in a country where the unemployment rate stands at over 95 per cent. Prices of basic commodities have been steadily increasing in the past few months as a result of the liquidity crunch. Bread costs USD1, while 500 grammes of magarine costs between USD 2.70 and USD 4, milk USD1,30 and beef more than USD 7 a kilogramme. The consumer basket for a family of six stood at USD 577 as at end of December, according to the Consumer Council of Zimbabwe.

RISING TO ANY OCCASION

Being a mother means knowing joy and happiness in spite of the hard times. I have learnt to rise to any occasion. This means stretching myself beyond any limits. I have managed to send my kids to private schools. I think the desire for any parent is to provide a better upbringing than your own.

I grew up in a poor family, raised by my maternal grandmother in Harare’s Kambuzuma High density suburb. We didn’t have a television set until I was 15 years old. We used to go to our neighbour’s houses to watch then popular television series like MacGyver, wrestling, The Six Million Dollar Man, Bionic Woman, Knight Rider and Sounds on Saturday.

But one important thing that my grandmother, Hellen Thebe (may her soul rest in peace), taught us was that the sky is no limit. She taught us that through hard work anything is achievable. Under my grandmother’s roof, the boy-child and girl-child were considered equals. She taught us to be independent thinkers and self-reliant. We were not brought up in a typical African traditional set-up. My grandmother valued education. So I went to college, after which I worked for six years before doing my master’s degree. It was only thereafter that I started thinking of getting married and having children.

‘THAT’S MY PRODUCT’

I remember very vividly the day I gave birth to my daughter, Renah, after 22 hours of induced childbirth. As mothers, you know how painful and tiring induced childbirth is. But the moment I set my eyes on those beautiful round big eyes, my heart just melted. I smiled and said to myself, “That’s my product”.  For the first time in my life, I knew there and then what pure love was.

I wasn’t willing to take advice from my grandmother or mother. I took parenting lessons from the Living and Loving magazine. At the time, we hadn’t caught on to Google. 

When the nurse handed her over to me, I forgot all about the fatigue and pain. All of a sudden I got a sudden burst of energy. I remember being wheeled from the labour ward into the maternity ward and for hours I just held my daughter, admiring her. Even the other mothers in the ward could tell that she was my first child. I knew at that moment that I had now found the purpose of my life.

I made a promise to protect my girl-child. I whispered to her that I will work hard through my profession and accomplishments to ensure that girls get the same opportunities as boys. So when I said earlier that I do it for my children, I also meant that I am working hard to open up opportunities in a field dominated by men, where boys’ clubs exist and where women all around the world are fighting to break the glass ceiling. My dream is for Renah to have the same opportunities as her brother, Stan.

PURE JOY

So when I found out that I was five months pregnant while still breast-feeding Renah, I was ecstatic. By that time I knew how good I was at being a mother. I knew then that I would never trade my best day before having the kids with any of my most stressful days with the kids.

My pure joy has been watching the kids grow and re-living those first moments when they discovered what they could do on their own. A day is never dull when Renah and Stan are at home for the holidays. My kids are my strength, joy and happiness. They are the reason I wake up each morning with a smile and the reason for being me. 

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