JUST BRENDA: Could I be parenting someone else's child?

A father and daughter. We have a daughter. I decided to settle down with her and be a good father and husband when she got pregnant.

What you need to know:

  • Ask her where she stands.
  • She might just pour her heart to you.

Hi Brenda,

I’m 26 and I’ve been married for two years now. We have a daughter. I decided to settle down with her and be a good father and husband when she got pregnant. I later came to learn that she wasn’t into the plans we were making together. She seemed to only want me for the support I could give her.

When I go through her phone, I never see any texts. Her call logs are also usually wiped clean. Recently, I saw photos of her at the beach. I didn’t even know she had gone to a beach. Am I being played? Could the child be someone else’s? Could this be a set-up?

Please help

The big problem in this relationship is lack of trust. Why do you feel a need to go through your wife’s phone and look through her messages? This underlying issue is what the two of you need to deal with.

If you are doubtful about the paternity of your daughter, DNA tests are now available. However, before you do that, be sure that you are ready to go down that road. That you can accept it if it turns out that she isn’t yours.

Sometimes knowing where you stand with your significant other is as easy as asking. Ask her where she stands. She might just pour her heart out to you.