JUST BRENDA: Have I chosen the right man?

I am about to get married but suddenly I am afraid. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • Wedding jitters are perfectly normal.
  • It is a big and hopefully lifelong decision that you're making.
  • Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: [email protected]

Hello Brenda,

I am about to get married but suddenly I am afraid. I’ve been told it’s wedding jitters. I don’t know. How does someone know they are making the right decision?

 

Hi,

Wedding jitters are perfectly normal. It is a big and hopefully lifelong decision that you're making.

Of course you're scared! Perhaps reflect a little bit on why you wanted to get married in the first place, and the things you think are important in a partner. Do you love this person? But perhaps even more important, do you trust them with your life and your heart?

Are they adding to your life instead of subtracting from it? Can you be together, talk to each other and be honest with each other? Are you willing to make a lifelong commitment to this person to try and make this thing work, even if you don't feel like making it work?

Are you building towards something for your future lives, and possible the lives of your children? Answer these questions, and seek the wisdom of someone in your life who's been married. The important thing is not the wedding, as such – it is the marriage.

And that takes a lot of work to work on and stay committed to. Keep that in mind as you move closer to the day. I wish you luck.

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Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: [email protected]