In Summary
  • If you do not want to be best friends, don't be best friends.
  • It is a bit unfair that people insist on friendship as a consolation prize for a potential romance.
  • Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: lifeandstyle@ke.nationmedia.com

Hi Brenda,

I recently I told a girl that I loved her and that I wanted to be in relationship with her. She then told me that she really liked me but isn't ready for a relationship at the moment but also insisted that she wanted to remain best friends with me.

I am so confused at the moment about what to do. I don't want to be best friends with her. What should I do? Please help!

Dear Confused Calvin,

If you do not want to be best friends, don't be best friends. It is as simple as that. You said what you wanted when you wanted it, instead of keeping her in the dark. In the same fashion, you know what you want now.

That she doesn't want it is all well and good, but you didn't apply for the best friend position, because you are not interested in being her friend. If you were, I am sure you would have said so. In fact, it is a bit unfair that people insist on friendship as a consolation prize for a potential romance. She should respect your feelings.

Keep your distance because you know that so soon after rejection, a friendship will just result in a rekindling of the feelings and really help no one in this situation.

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Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: lifeandstyle@ke.nationmedia.com