JUST BRENDA: How do you help a friend who keeps ignoring you?

Hi Brenda,

I have a friend who keeps posting sad and worrying messages on social media and in our girls WhatsApp chat group.

Whenever any of us try to approach her and let her know that we are there for her, she ignores us. At first we were annoyed because we thought she just wanted attention.

However, after learning about mental health, we cannot help but worry about her. Problem is, she doesn’t let us in. We have even tried reaching her through her brother but to no avail. What more can we do?

Hi,

That's a very scary situation, and you are true friends to be concerned. It takes great discernment to tell the difference between calls for attention and an actual, real problem.

I think you and your friends have done what you can do. Short of monitoring her 24/7, which you cannot possibly do, it is important to let her know you are there for her.

Keep her company. Message her even when she ignores you. Sometimes your friends just need to hear and know that their friends are there for them, and love them.

Also, it is definitely time for you to seek professional help. You see, you and your friends, and her brother, are not professionals – you don't have the ability to deal with this beyond your friend abilities.

She needs professional help, and it is time for you to bring this up to her, probably in person where she cannot avoid the topic – and not in a group, so that you do not overwhelm her.

I wish you all the luck.

***

Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: [email protected]