JUST BRENDA: My married friend cheats without a care

Hi Brenda,

I have a friend who really annoys me and I want to tell him off for cheating on his wife and making everyone know.

But the last time somebody told him off, he accused that friend of ours of eyeing his wife. He has a very beautiful wife and he keeps saying he married her for her looks. He cheats haphazardly.

Personally, him cheating is not what bothers me so much. What angers me most is that he tells everyone that he has a pretty and cultured wife who is good only for showing off in functions and in his family only; but he runs around with other women.

He even took a girl home some day and it’s not that he can’t afford a hotel. And he changes girls like clothes.

He has stopped hiding his philandering from his wife, after she confronted him. She was told by people in the estate about his constant philandering. She is always crying and asking us to talk to him.

Hello,

In short, this man is no longer any of your business and you should leave him and his marriage alone.

There's a lot to be said for your empathy as a person and your concern for another human being, which is admirable, but past a certain point, what are you going to do? It is not you who has to leave him, it is not you who has to put up with his ratchet philandering.

He knows what he is doing. You would not be informing him of any moralistic dilemma he clearly lacks.

What you can do now at this point is refuse to put up with his behaviour – refuse to entertain or make jokes about or look like you support hi roving eye. And if she asks you to talk to him, tell her to talk to him, or walk if she is that unhappy. This is above your pay grade.

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